You’ve Written A Book, Congratulations! Now Prepare To Beg

What it feels like asking for blurbs.

1. You wrote a book? Congratulations!

2. Annnd you found a publisher? No way!

3. Guess it’s all champagne and royalty checks from here on out, huh?

4. Guess again.

5. Have you gotten blurbs for your book yet?

6. You know, where you ask incredibly cool strangers to say nice things about your book?

7. Incredibly cool people who you would never dare approach in real life because you respect them too much?

8. But now, instead of contacting them to say, “Hi, I worship your work…”

9. (Which, again, you’d never do, because: not cool)

10. You’re saying, “Hi, would you please like my work and be OK with me telling everyone in the entire world you like my work even though we’ve never met and you owe me absolutely nothing?”

11. “Please?”

12. “Pleeeaaaase?”

13. “Oh god please won’t you please help me?!”

14. Only to hear nothing in response?

15. Which… hurts.

16. Because in your mind, these incredibly cool strangers are all:

21. But chin up, buttercup.

22. Far more likely than these incredibly cool strangers hating your work is the fact that these incredibly cool strangers are constantly getting requests like this.

23. So who cares that you haven’t heard back? Just keeping doing what you do.

24. And you’ll get a blurb or two eventually.

25. Because all those incredibly cool strangers out there?

26. They had to do the same thing once, and they were just as scared as you.

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