53. Nothing is ever spicy enough.
52. But that’s ok. You always have hot sauce on hand.
51. You roast chiles and tomatoes to make salsa.
50. And you know the best salsa is made with a molcajete.
Blenders are for cheaters!
48. You don’t understand people who heat tortillas in the microwave.
If the tortilla doesn’t have brown spots I’m not eating it bro!
46. Because you know the RIGHT way to heat a tortilla is on a comal.
45. You hate when people misuse the term “wrap.”
44. Or mispronounce jalapeño.
Repeat after me: Hah-lah-PEHN-yo
43. You ate at taco trucks before they were cool.
Tacos are trendy? Whatever bro, I’m just hungry.
41. You prefer Gansitos over Twinkies.
And you freeze them in the summer!
39. And pan dulce over donuts any day!
38. Growing up, you had jello instead of ice cream at your birthday parties.
37. And realized making Jell-O is an art.
Fact: the best Jell-O is made with milk.
35. And the difference between Mexican and American Coke.
34. But you prefer aguas frescas over soda.
You haven’t lived ‘til you’ve had a tall, cold glass of agua de horchata!
33. Unless we’re talking about Jarritos — that’s a tough call!
Guava soda? Yes, please!
32. When you’re craving sweets you go for: Arroz con leche.
That’s rice pudding for all you non-Spanglish speakers.
30. Obleas con cajeta.
i.e. caramel-filled wafers (caramel made with goat’s milk is the way to go!)
28. You know the best quesadillas are made with Oaxaca cheese.
If you’re using “Mexican blend” shredded cheese you should be ashamed!
27. This is how you eat meatballs.
In soup with a rich broth and veggies!
26. You eat hotdogs wrapped in bacon and topped with chopped onion, tomato and jalapeño.
25. A meal feels incomplete without beans.
Pinto or black, refried or whole — they’re all delicious!
23. You don’t need sushi to eat raw fish.
That’s what ceviche is for!
22. When you grill meat you DON’T use BBQ sauce.
Whatever the meat, you know seasoning and citrus go a long way.
21. And your favorite thing to grill is carne asada of course!
Skirt steak is the best steak!
20. You know beef tongue is nothing to get squeamish over.
Unless you’re told it’s tongue you’d never guess it’s anything other than yummy, juicy beef!
19. And neither is tripe.
It’s a common ingredient in menudo soup, which is not only delicious, it’s also a great hangover cure!
18. However, you’ll admit this takes some courage to try.
Am I the only one who thinks fried chapulines (grasshoppers) resemble the taste of sunflower seeds?
17. This is your idea of a shrimp cocktail.
Soda crackers and cocktail sauce? Screw that! Tostadas and Clamato is where it’s at!
16. You know the best way to eat fried fish is in a taco…
p.s. this cart in Los Algodones, Baja California makes KILLER fish and shrimp tacos! You’re welcome.
15. You know “paloma” means more than just “dove” in Spanish.
Screw margarita mix, combine white tequila, grapefruit soda and lime for a perfect cocktail!
14. You laugh when anyone claims to make “THE BEST” salsa or guacamole.
13. Corn is your idea of street food.
Whether it’s smothered in mayo and cheese,
or in a cup — it’s all good!
12. As is mango, watermelon and even cucumber!
Dear parents, want the secret to getting your kids to eat fruit and veggies? Add chile powder!
11. You don’t find anything weird about spicy candy.
Screw peanut butter and chocolate, tamarind and chile is the best flavor combo!
10. And you know popcorn and chips taste better with salsa Valentina.
9. You own at least one over-sized bowl.
For caldos, menudo and pozole of course!
8. This is how you eat your turkey during the holidays.
Gravy on turkey? Pfff pass the chocolate chilli sauce! (It’s pronounced MOH/Leh and it’s DELICIOUS)
7. And Christmas ain’t complete without tamales!
Tamales taste like love, don’t you agree?
6. You’ve bitten into a plastic, baby Jesus.
It’s a Three Kings Day tradition — look it up!
5. You know these are gorditas…
3. Your friends know better than to suggest going to Taco Bell with you.
2. Because you know Taco Bell is not REAL Mexican food and you’d never be caught dead eating there.
1. Unless you’re drunk or have a bad case of the munchies.
In which case I recommend you go for the chalupas!
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