1.
When you blared music so no one could tell what you were doing in your room.
2.
When your parents always had some reason to come to your room when you were about to rub it out.
3.
When it was summer vacation and you had the free time to masturbate twice, maybe even three times a day.
4.
When your rude as fuck sibling told your parents what you were doing alone in your room.
5.
When you moved out of the house and could masturbate without family members constantly being underfoot.
6.
When your college roommate said you masturbated all the time because you couldn't get a lover.
7.
When you were always running late because you woke up horny and needed to get yourself off.
8.
When you spent a Friday night at home with a glass of wine.
9.
When a porn scene really got you off, but you were unable to find it when you needed it again.
10.
When you went through a bad break-up, but still thought of your ex while you masturbated.
11.
When your significant other had a problem with you looking at porn.
12.
When one of your friends mentioned that they masturbate SO MUCH LESS now that they're dating someone.
13.
When you hit that last moment before you ejaculated and needed to quickly adjust your aim.
14.
When you stained the clothes you were wearing.
15.
When you managed to not get any "juices" on your clothing or furniture.
16.
When someone unexpectedly entered the room.
17.
When you and your sexual partner masturbated one another during sex.
18.
When you got a new vibrator or dildo...
19.
...and it did the job BETTER than your significant other.
20.
When you were all out of lube.
21.
When people tried to make you feel like masturbation is something to be ashamed of.
22.
When you visited home and found old magazines you used to masturbate to in high school.
23.
When you got older and realized that your parents also masturbate.
24.
When you accidentally knocked over your laptop while viewing porn.
25.
When the internet was down and you had to resort to a scantily clad magazine ad to get off.
26.
When you took your computer in for repairs and worried your porn folder would get discovered.
27.
When you were home for the holidays and you knew you'd have to go at least a week without masturbating...
28.
...but you snuck off to a corner of the house to do it anyway.
29.
When you had a stressful day and needed to rub one out to soothe your nerves.
30.
When you discovered what pleasures your body actually likes and you were able to communicate that with a sexual partner.
31.
When you realized that if you couldn't please yourself how in the hell were you gonna please somebody else?
