1. Slap bracelets.
When did our jewelry stop doubling as awesome toys? Alternately, when did we stop shopping for bangles and bracelets in the Chuck-E-Cheese crane machine?
2. The hair.
Real talk: that shaved-sides hipster quiff is so 2012. The flat top, the fringe, the shabob, the pixie, the bowl cut, the Rachel… let’s revive the whole hair-sprayed-to-high-hell thing.
3. Light-up sneakers.
Shoes with lights in ‘em, shoes with rollerskates in ‘em…footwear in the 90s made us feel like the Batman of Sneakers. We’ll take LA Gears over a crate of Crocs any day of the week.
4. Hammer pants.
Now that we’re all so obsessed with super-skinny slacks, leggings, and — ugh — jeggings, the age of stiff shoulders and baggy-as-all-get-out drawers seems like a fond memory. Oh, how we long for the days when pants weren’t pants unless they dragged along the sidewalk.
5. The snacks.
Gushers, Butterfingers BBs, Crispy M&Ms, French Toast Crunch, Cheetos Paws, Doritos 3Ds…face the facts: being unhealthy was so much more fun in the ’90s.
6. Moon Shoes.
Admit it — every time you watched some lucky tween walk away from Legends of the Hidden Temple with a pair of brand-spankin’ new Moon Shoes, your heart fluttered with envy.
7. Big movies with bigger theme songs.
What happened to big summer blockbusters with just-as-big summer anthems? If remembering the chart-topping tunes from Space Jam, Men in Black, and Wild Wild West is any indication, then A) this trend really needs to make a modern-day comeback, and B) Will Smith really needs to start rapping about every movie he’s in again.
8. Carmen Sandiego.
It’s a special kind of super-thief that can swipe the Statue of Liberty and teach you about the founding fathers in one fell swoop. Also, Rockapella’s pretty darn overdue for a resurgence.
Sure, it’s great having every song ever recorded ever accessible from the magical device in our back pocket, but there’s a special something that comes from hand-written cassette tapes that got lost along the way. Besides, it’s near impossible to slip an MP3 into your crush’s locker.