1. You don’t have an Academy Award winning musical named after your city.
The 2002 critic favorite took home 6 Oscars, 3 Golden Globes, a BAFTA, and all that jazz.
2. Your football team didn’t come up with “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”
In 1985 the Chicago Bears released The Superbowl Shuffle three months before they won Super Bowl XX.
3. You think you’re fancy because you have a Picasso in your living room?
Well Chicago has one for the people in Daley Plaza! And it’s 50 feet tall, nbd.
4. The highest rated talk show in American television history wasn’t founded in your city.
The Oprah Winfrey Show, that started as A.M. Chicago on WLS-TV, aired nationally for twenty-five seasons! Oprah’s production company, Harpo Productions, runs the world from it’s homebase in Chicago.
5. You can’t take the only acceptable form of a selfie.
That’s because you don’t have this thing sitting in the middle of you city.
(This thing is called cloud gate. Or “the bean”)
6. You don’t know legacy, because you didn’t have the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls.
The Bulls won 72 games during the 1995–96 season, an NBA record. With basketball legends Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman at the helm, the Bulls are the only team in NBA history to win 70 games or more in a single season.
7. Haiii. Guess where this family is from…
8. You don’t have two incredible Summer music festivals.
9. Chicagoans are naturally more fabulous than you.
As a direct result of all the wind the “Windy City” has to offer, every second of the day is a photo shoot waiting to happen. Werk, Chicago. Werk.
10. You can’t stand in a glass box overlooking your whole city.
That’s because you don’t have the Willis Tower. Chicagoans can climb to the tower’s 103rd floor to marvel at their city from a glass box that extends four feet out of the building.
11. You’re not from the birthplace of Playboy.
Hugh Hefner started Playboy in Chicago in 1953. The first issue was released that december with Marilyn Monroe on the cover.
12. You don’t understand the true meaning of “size matters.”
That’s because you didn’t grow up with Chicago style deep dish pizza. Compared to this monument of cheese and sauce, your thin crust looks like something out of an Easy Bake Oven.
Now guess where they’re not from…
13. You may listen to Chicago Blues, but it ain’t yours.
The 1980s SNL sketch spinoff, The Blues Brothers, was based and filmed in Chicago, the birthplace of Chicago Blues. Chicago Blues took conventional Delta Blues and turned up the amp!
14. You don’t have a comedy scene who has been churning out legends for five decades.
Second City in Chicago has trained comedians including Joan Rivers, Fred Willard, Bill Murray, John Candy, Dan Akroyd, Gilda Radner, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Steve Carell, Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, and countless more.
15. And you don’t have crown jewel Mystique Summers Madison on your team.
Werk Chicago. Werk.
You know what else Chicago has that you don’t?
The Experience Intel roadshow June 7-9. Join Intel and explore a series of immersive, cutting-edge digital experiences and performances—by notable artists and creative thinkers—that let you both imagine and experience how an Intel-based device is different from any other.