1.
You scoff at words like "elevator" and "stairs."
2.
Even your reflexes have perfect reflexes.
3.
Your hands are protected under the second amendment.
4.
But you're no slouch when it comes to weaponry.
5.
You always have an escape plan.
6.
You're the undisputed master of outdoor camouflage.
7.
And a pro at hiding in plain sight.
8.
You've literally never used a door in your LIFE.
9.
And you think walls are the new floors.
10.
You're constantly on the lookout for tricks and traps.
11.
And you've got a flair for the, uh, theatrical.