I made it a minute five. I’m not proud of this.

My hangover cure has been the same for almost 20 years: Advil
Large glass of water
Large glass of OJ
Small to medium coffee (too much makes me feel worse)
Bacon and eggs breakfast
One small to medium sized joint (too much also makes me feel worse)

And taste different. I like the US ones better. Which sucks cause I live in Canada.

Not thanking me for holding the door open will not result in a tripping. However, it does result in you being a giant fucking asshole.

I was looking at XXL magazine covers. All black people! Racist bastards!
I was looking at Lowrider magazine covers. All latino people! Racist bastards!
I was looking at Men’s Health magazine covers. All Men! Sexist bastards! Oh wait…right…demographics…

I have an iPhone 4 and iPad 2. You’re not going to believe this but… They still work!
I can play games on them and everything!

Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim: There!
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He’ll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
Tim: I’m warning you!
Sir Robin: What’s he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He’s got huge, sharp… er… He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin’ right up!

Clearly you haven’t watched Blood Gnome

One of the guys at work has Mah Na Mah Na as his ring tone. I might murder him.