1. The video is prefaced with this important warning. No men were harmed. Remember this. It’s going to be important later.
2. The story begins with our heroine at home playing computer games.
3. She appears to be on her 1998 Dell desktop.
4. Then she webcams her psychic who tells her she’s going to have a “killer week…”
5. You know what that means!
6. Cue music and bed writhing.
7. And start flipping your hair.
8. Christina finds a man and makes out in his car.
9. But then she blows him up.
10. BUT REMEMBER:
11. On to the next guy…
12. Christina finds her next victim at a bar and takes him into the men’s bathroom.
13. Clothes start flying…
14. And then … EWWW. WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?!?
15. Christina, that’s not normal. It’s not supposed to be blue…
16. Dirrty! Go clean yourself.
17. Christina leaves the poor guy in the stall and is on to the next one.
18. Xtina don’t care!
20. Guy No. 3. Wonder what’s going to happen?
21. Christina takes her new guy to a motel and breaks out a bat…
22. And BLAM!
23. And once again, she doesn’t wash up.
24. Xtina’s all like LOL.
25. So the main take aways:
26. And also this:
27. THE END!
- Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore is dropping out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. He got 133 votes in New Hampshire.
- MLB issued its first-ever lifetime ban for performance enhancing drugs to New York Mets' Jenrry Mejia.
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz.