I Got Some Questions, Universe...

19 things that keep me up at night, a-pondering.

1. What kind of scary mini heart attack happens when I lean too far back in a chair?

don't do it stockphoto man

2. Why don't you have to refrigerate velveeta?

and why doesn't that fact ALONE stop me from loving/eating it.

3. How did CatDog poop?

really, I need a reason for the entire show.

4. Why are some words bad?

fornicated is the new F word.

5. Who started the whole "clapping" thing?

banging our hands together seems like a good way to show approval..

6. Why haven't they made miniature cats yet?

Nobody wants that big thing!!!!!?!!
It's terrifying!!

7. How is Kevin Bacon always in danger?!?!?!

always stressin for ya, brotha. (the following)

8. How stupid will all our technology seem in 50 years?

dear GOD, what is that thing?

9. How do they make the computer task noises?

sure, that sounds like I'm throwing something away

10. What's goin on with that swirl in the back of your head?

does the hemisphere you're born in have anything to do with which way it turns?

11. Does Taylor Swift have daddy issues?

yes.

12. Who thought it'd be a good idea to eat this?

I do applaud this unknown rebel.

13. Will all of the possible songs just be made at some point?

at which point, would we restart from the beginning? mozart style?

14. If the U.S. was a monarchy, who would be the queen?

obviously.

15. When will we get clicker locks for our houses?

I want full credit when it happens.

16. Can you travel around the world with the sun and have day FOREVER?

I like sleep way too much to do it, but I'd totally watch a Netflix documentary on someone who did it for, like, 2 years.

17. Is the purple I see the same as the purple you see?

you'll mindfuck yourself on this one, careful.

18. Why do people make out?

no other animals rub tongues. stop thinking about it. you'll never want to do it again.

19. Lost. What the actual fuck?

hahaha JK guys, we're all dead. NO. I can't even.. I don't know.