Miss Pupik / Via Flickr: miss_pupik
1. Alice told you and told you and told you that installing a swing is harder than it looks. But would you listen? No you would not. So pardon Alice if she’s not exactly rockin’ the sympathy right now.
akeg / Via Flickr: akeg
2. Olive is trying to think of a polite way to tell you this, but that garden you planted isn’t worth crapping in.
3. L’il Paco is, frankly, surprised that you haven’t figured out how a lawnmower works yet.
Elsie Esq / Via Flickr: elsie
4. Gooseberry cannot believe it has taken you six hours to paint approximately 0% of the house.
5. LaToya finds your attempts at sidewalk repair to be grotesque and depressing.
Frank Reyes / Via Flickr: frankreyes
6. Will Feral is trying real hard not to say anything about your jacked-up, raggedy lawn.
7. Remember your New Year’s Resolution about planting a flower bed? Hillary does.
Nontrivial / Via Flickr: 25246754@N04
8. Beezus will shred one curtain every day until you wise up and start reading instruction manuals. She is sorry it had to come to this.
LizMarie_AK / Via Flickr: perspicacious
9. Waldorf and Statler think you ought to know: Your feeble attempts at landscaping are making you a neighborhood joke.
Gerald Brazell / Via Flickr: geraldbrazell
10. Bridget regrets to inform you that you are no longer even allowed on the patio, because everything you touch turns to garbage.
ЕленАндреа / Via Flickr: andre5
11. Chatsworth can’t believe you are so bad with tools.
Shutterstock / Via Flickr: editor
12. Marvin is convinced your backyard reflects your low self-esteem.
Home Depot / Via Flickr: tachyondecay
13. Richard wants you to know that he has tried everything (from being passive-aggressive to being regular-aggressive)… and at this point, he’s officially giving up on you.