The Sad Trials Of Getting Back Into Shape

Because we’ve all been there. posted on

1. The Beginning

Maybe it’s summer. Maybe it’s a new semester in college. Maybe it’s the holidays. Maybe it’s vacation. Whatever the case may be, you’re having fun and there’s not a care in the world regarding your health. Happy hour after work or class? Yep. Pizza tonight? Yep. Grabbing ice cream after dinner? Yep. Drinking a bottle of wine on Friday night? Abso-freaking-lutely.

2. The Regret Jiggles

That pizza sinks into your hips. The ice cream into your ass. The booze in your face. You know the feel, when something seems a little extra heavy, and a little extra wobbly. And after maybe a few days/weeks/months of fun, you think to yourself that it might be time to start eating healthier and working out more.

3. The Brainstorming

How are you going to attack this? No carbs? No booze? Run everyday? How many miles a day? Are you going to lift at all? Should you get a personal trainer? What gym should I join? Does this mean I have to start shopping at Whole Foods?

4. The Commitment

You’re ready to do this. You’re purchased the clothes and sneakers. You’ve tossed junk food and went grocery shopping for healthy foods only. You create a schedule of how you’re going to work out. You sign up for a Fitness Pal account. It’s go time.

5. The First Day

SUCKS. Morning, afternoon, evening, weekends. No matter what time of day or day of the week, working out sucks. Dieting sucks. All of this sucks and you just want to go home, sit on the couch, and eat a bag of Doritos.

6. The Second Day

Skip… You actually worked out yesterday. You actually ate healthy yesterday. With that being said, today means you can skip, right? Eat an apple yesterday, eat mac and cheese today balances it out, right? Plus you’re super sore from exercising yesterday. You deserve a day off… riighhtt.

7. The Third Day

Still sucks, but better than the first day. You feel the regret jiggles again because of all the sitting around and bad food you ate yesterday, but you’re not going to do that again. Everything you did wrong yesterday canceled out what good you did the day before, and you’re not going to make that mistake again. A day off is for relaxing, not cheating. You are motivated to make this work. Here we go.

8. The Next Week

You’re in the groove. It’s still not fun, but you’re making an honest effort to do this a few days a week. You’re not eating nonsense food on your off days. You’re doing your best to stay true to your commitment.

9. The Next Month

This doesn’t suck so bad anymore. It’s part of your routine. Maybe Mondays are for running, and Tuesdays are for doing yoga. Maybe Wednesdays you do a spin class in the morning and Thursdays you relax. Every weeknight you attempt a healthy dinner, and the weekends, you don’t let your partying get out of control. YOU’RE the one finally in control.

10. A Few Months Later

Results. People are asking what you did, what’s your secret, what’s your trick. The good old fashioned way of course: eating healthy and exercising. Nothing to it, as long as you stay focused. No need to starve or go on a workout binge. You feel better than ever and can’t imagine a time when this seemed impossible

11. <3 Good luck to everyone out there (including myself) who are trying to get back into shape for a long, healthy life ahead.

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