1. Picnic pants
Really? Really? You can’t just bring a blanket? You want to walk around with the picnic on your pants?
3. This diet water.
Diet. Fucking. Water.
Chill out, diet culture. Just chill the fuck out.
6. This potty-training device that comes with an iPad stand.
Because potty training needs to be even messier.
7. This “Daddle” for “horsing around.”
Previously called your dad’s back.
8. Snapback fedoras.
Because fedoars aren’t horrible enough.
10. These fashionable “Morning Chicness bags.”
Because even when women are barfing from morning sickness they have to look pretty.
11. This girlfriend lap pillow.
This is just creepy.
14. This ramen fan.
Or, you know, just waiting a little bit for your food to cool like your mother taught you.
15. This pumpkin computer.
There are real needs when it comes to computers. This is not one of them.
16. This “Kush support” thing that is supposed to help women sleep on their side “with proper breast support.”
Apparently even when women are sleeping their boobs have to be nice and perky.
17. This very literal take on hand soap.
Which is apparently “musk scented” on purpose?!?!
19. This umbrella with a watergun handle.
Ok, this is a pretty cool concept design from Alex Wooley but, like, how about we fix fucking umbrellas?!
20. These jean sandles
Just use the fabric for something else. Please.
21. This screaming vase.
How about not wasting $15 on something when you already own a pillow?
22. This world’s largest coffee cup.
PUT THE COFFEE DOWN YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH.
23. This pair of “America Sunglasses”.
They don’t even cover all of your eyes. WHY.
25. The French fry holder.
Pretty sure this already exists and it’s called your cup holder.
28. These hand gloves called “Handerpants.”
29. This lap desk for your steering wheel.
NO. THIS IS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS?
30. These “Snuggle Wings.”
A STRAITJACKET FOR YOUR BABY?!
31. These shoes that come with a built-in tent.
It’s OK. Just bring a backpack. It will be OK.
32. This human-hand dog leash.
Why, humans, why?