26 "Next" Bus Contestants You Would Never Date

This show gives “bad date” a whole new meaning.

1. This girl “Poops five times a day”?? FIVE. TIMES. A. DAY.

2. Um, what is a “weenie” Pooh Bear??

3. “My braces bring all the girls to the yard” - This guy.

4. This dude is probably lovely on the internet.

5. Is competitive weave collecting a thing??

6. And pray tell, good sir, where did you get your metrosexual license?

7. “Idolizes Ryan Seacrest” should make anyone pause.

8. That rock music, man. It’s bonkers!

9. There’s this guy who expects women to have absolutely no hair on their arms.

10. Is “looks like Lenny Kravitz” a reason to date someone?

11. I don’t think James Dean would appreciate the reference.

12. Does this guy understand how itchy Santa outfits are?

13. Well, at least you know he’s adventurous.

14. How does one get a job selling exclusively vacuum cleaners?

15. This lovely guy will probz pee on you while you’re sleeping.

16. Eating your weight in sushi is actually pretty impressive, if you think about it.

17. How would she even know if she’s the best kisser? Like, is she a supernatural being with the powers to kiss herself? I want answers.

18. I think Ursula got to him.

19. Actually, she seems pretty normal. Who amongst us hasn’t wanted to kick our teachers in the balls?

20. At least she’s honest.

21. A bondage themed hair show? That’s actually pretty cool.

22. Do I want to know how he got the nickname “Dr. Pepper”?

23. “Poops in boxes” is definitely a red flag.

24. She’s probably Benjamin Button-ing or something. Her teeth are great why would she want veneers??

25. Why would you ever mention “chit-chats in the bathroom” as one of your distinguishing characteristics to a date?

26. She’s pretty normal…oh wait. Right, of course. If you learn anything from Next, it’s that no one is normal.

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