17 Inanimate Objects That Definitely Need To Be Sexualized

    It's like a bunch of advertising execs had a meeting and said, “What if you could fuck everything?"

    1. A candy coated piece of chocolate.

    2. Bread with cheese and tomato sauce on it:

    3. A cleaning device made of blended, artificial fibers.

    4. A hard boiled egg cut in half with various ingredients mixed in the yolk.

    Good morning sexy deviled egg was the first ad I saw online today.

    5. A piece of exercise equipment intended to strengthen muscles.

    6. A device used to illuminate a room.

    7. Poultry

    8. The dried leaves that combine with boiling water to form a hot beverage.

    9. The pink-ish fruit borne by a deciduous tree native to China. A peach, y'all. A goddamn peach.

    10. The fruit borne from the tree/shrub species genus Pyrus.

    11. The dairy spread made from churning cream, in spray can form.

    12. This beer centaur woman.

    13. An anthropomorphized plastic horse.

    14. A cartoon cow mascot.

    15. A fictional 7-year-old girl who goes on adventures.

    16. Someone's lunch.

    17. And whatever in the goddamn hell this is.