1. “No homo” is a very disappointing thing to hear, for several reasons.
4. It is actually impossible for straight boys to shut up.
6. Straight people are actually just a ball of anxiety.
10. If an ally says this magical phrase, angels will descend from heaven to praise them.
11. Straight people need to stop worrying about who pays for the date.
12. The Certificate of Heterosexuality is strictly enforced.
19. Sometimes you just have to grasp at all the pop culture you can grab.
(Because sometimes this is the best you’ll get).
Art by Still-Sophistory.