13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst
Nice guys: pro or con? Here’s the case against that particular species.
Nice people are great. They bring joy and love into our lives.
Self-proclaimed “nice guys,” however, are kind of not like that at all.
1. “Nice guys” are always trying to convince you they are *such* nice people.
2. “Nice guys” apparently aren’t listening to themselves when they speak.
3. It turns out there’s no such thing as the Nice Guy Card(TM).
Comic by Callmekito
4. “Nice guys” think that all women owe them something.
5. “Nice guys” think that “the friend zone” is a thing that is both unfair and some kind of punishment?
A different take on the original Friend Zone Fiona meme.
6. “Nice guys” aren’t really as great at compliments as they think they are.
Comic by Hanging Rock Comics
7. “Nice guys” don’t seem to have the most accurate grasp of reality.
Comic by Eat That Toast
8. “Nice guys” are all over the place! Trolling the Internet…
Comic by Toothpaste for Dinner
10. “Nice guys” are emotionally manipulative and, again, seem to not hear themselves speak.
Comic by Something Positive
11. “Nice guys” sometimes evoke sympathy…
Because, let’s be honest, everyone just wants to be loved.
…but their sense of entitlement is not just annoying, it can actually be pretty scary.
Find the full comic “The Friend Zoner vs. Nice Guy” by Mamamantis here.
12. “Nice guys” just miss so many things.
Courtesy of the now defunct Tumblr blog Nice Guys of OK Cupid.
13. And they’re always complaining about how “nice guys finish last.”
IT’S NOT A COMPETITION.
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- angelan7 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst and thinks it’s LOL
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- Alicia F. 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst
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Bovo 2 months agoI used to be one of those nice guys, and while i don’t believe i ever expect sex, I certainly failed to understand how emotionally manipulative I could be. That being said, I think a woman in this situation needs to look to herself and ask if she knew he felt the way he did. Did she ask or allow him to do “nice guy things” for her? Everyone likes to have their ego stroked, but I guarantee you if her new guy friend is there stroking that ego and doing little things just to make her happy— he likes her and I think she knows it. While yes it is bullshit for him to think that shes then obligated to some relationship, it is equally bullshit to act all surprised and victimy, when he “reveals” his interest. This “nice guy” thing as well as many others seems to me reflective of a theme common in relationships today, in which the man is not only supposed to accept the woman’s decisions and move on(which he should), but to embrace it as the right decision with no hurt feelings, no resentment, only goodwill. That also is bullshit.
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Bovo 2 months ago
Look at number 12. One of the choices is “Is a woman obligated to do anything?” My choices are yes in which case I’m a “nice guy” or no meaning I do not feel that a woman is obligated to be a decent human being, to be as honest as she can be, to not use someone’s affections, or treat others emotions as inconsequential.
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- kellyk17 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst
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johns129 3 months agoThe above is only true about 30% of the time. The rest of the time, a girl is leading a guy on. And all the girls above acting like they don’t know the deal…get over it ladies. Yeah, “nice guys” want sex. They are still men. They are attracted to you. Doesn’t mean that’s all they are after. Doesn’t mean they are not treating women better than the average asshole. This post abdicates all blame that women have here. They OFTEN date the asshole because they accept the love they believe they deserve. Then they go and bitch to a guy who clearly has feelings for her. Get yourself some fucking female friends because you know as well as I do that no guy is listening to you bitch about your boyfriend unless he is at least on some level attracted to you. To all the guys defending the above nonsense, I love how all your comments talk about what a great guy YOU are and all the things YOU do. And if she would only notice YOU and all YOU do. Maybe she wants the asshole because he is not complicated or needy or intense. Maybe she just got out of a relationship and wants a fling. Are you a fling kind of guy? Probably not. So if thats the case, take the fucking hint. Or don’t. Just remember, when you finally do move on, that girl you were the nice guy with all those years will come back. But not until you are happy with someone else. Better to find someone else who has the same fucked up experiences as you, bitch together over a few drinks and see how your parts fit together. Now get to it nerds.
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adamv8 3 months agoI think there used to be nice guys who just wanted companionship and were not focused on sex, but with all these posts on how now nice guys are not nice, there’s just no point in being nice anymore and this will only get worse. It gives true nice guys 3 options: Become a dick and try that way, which will of course fail and leave you in a guilt ridden hell pit with no friends; keep being a nice guy, while other dicks give you a bad name and you spiral down into a depressive coma; give up on relationships and concentrate on more productive things such as education, which I can report is actually probably the best option.
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FlickMontana 3 months ago
The more you stop living your life and basing your identity off the ass you get, the better off you’ll be. I can tell you that self enrichment is a very important step in becoming an interesting, well-rounded person. I realize lots of PEOPLE gravitate towards other crappy people. They have their reasons, valid or invalid. But it’s up to them. Let people be themselves and make their own choices and appreciate them for who they are or move on. Life’s too short to fill yourself with bitterness. A person shouldn’t put so much weight on the supposed judgement of all these imaginary people they don’t really know. Take (or more often, leave) people for who they are and what they do. Yourself too.
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- beerchen thinks 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst is Win & LOL
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outcastp 3 months agoI was “friend zoned” once. I didn’t ever hit on her, because she was my friend. I developed feelings for her and it was terrible. However, it wasn’t her fault that I had a crush on her and I honestly couldn’t help it. She was pretty awesome and I don’t say that out of having a crush. She was just a damn good friend. I never told her that I had a crush on her. Later on she moved far away and gave me a call to tell me that she had a crush on me the whole time. Yep, and there I was thinking that I was just being respectful by not ruining our friendship. Well, lesson learned and it was my fault and my fault alone. I can’t say that nice guys finish last, but dumb guys who can’t tell when a girl likes them certainly don’t get very far ahead.
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FlickMontana 3 months ago
Be yourself and be straight with people about how you feel, AKA dealing with reality. It sounds silly and non-intuitive but it’s really pretty rare.
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seanc31 3 months agoIronically, i think in light of a lot of the things mentioned in this article, the actually really real nice guys (the ones who are really nice for real) deserve some degree of sympathy seeing as how they are being thrown into a really general category with men who use their fake niceness to seduce women and their ultumate goal is to have sex with them and that’s all they care about because men are pigs and bla bla bla. What if you are nice to a women because you enjoy their company and want to share a relationship with them? Here you are being throw in with the worst of the worst. Frequently do legitimately nice guys get thrown under buses because women falsely think that they are using niceness to seduce them, when in actuality they are only looking for something meaningful. I think in this case it safe to say that that woman is just paranoid, and is completely to blame. Then when that legitimately nice guy is standing there in the dust (probably sad), god forbid he say something like “you know what sucks? Everything”, because then people come the fuck down on you; demonizing you for things you didn’t do, and categorizing you with people who aren’t like you, but you are still equally guilty. I don’t see how that’s fair…
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superneato 3 months ago
The way I see it she probably wasn’t the first person to reject you and probably won’t be the last. That’s just how life is.
The “nice guys” described in this post become bitter and insult the woman for not choosing them, like she was obligated to.
Genuine nice guys move on and realize it was her loss. -
dannym13 2 months agoI think the point is these women have already decided they don’t want “something meaningful” with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re after sex or “meaningful romance”—-you’re not getting either from her. If she’s not into it (and she knows right away, I promise), your “niceness” toward her is irrelevant. In short, if at that point you’re not cool with treating her exactly the same way you treat your dude friends and getting exactly the same from her in return, then stop being “nice” and move on.
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eduardor2 3 months agolol we let women out of the kitchen and look what happens;p I’m kidding slightly but either way maybe nice guys are too tied up to the golden rule of do onto others, because 9 out of 10 times at least any nice guy would be a buddy bang their friend if she asked maybe that’s why they expect the same thing in return lol:)
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superneato 3 months ago
A friend is just a friend unless you both want something more.
Would you expect your male friends to have sex with you because you’re friends?
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cadeeml 3 months agoA lot of these criticisms wouldn’t apply to a real “nice guy”. No genuine nice guy would always let you know how nice they are and feel like they are romeo because they didn’t take advantage of you at a party when you were drunk, or just pretend to be nice only for the purpose of getting in your pants etc
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noellejb 3 months agoI think a large part of the problem is that men see there to be two groups….Nice guys and Jerks. But you all seem to be under the impression that you are interchangeable within this group. Like one nice guy is the same as the next, and it doesn’t matter what he looks like, or what kind of chemistry or body language or education or political views he has. When you like a person, you like a million things about them, not that they fit into one of two categories. So please, stop identifying with the idea of a “nice guy”, and start identifying with actual real personality traits that you have and your own interests. If your only view of yourself is a “nice guy”, and you see being a decent human as a marketable trait, you’re probably selling yourself short. Develop yourself.
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Attila T. Hun 3 months ago
The comments for this article are a bit depressing and lacking in empathy, as is the article itself. Still, it brings up something really important. As a former “nice” guy it shames me to see things I’ve done or said accurately depicted in at least one or two of these panels. As one of the first commenters said, above, there’s a huge difference between “nice” guys and genuinely kind, supportive guys. The problem with nice guys - and here I can speak from experience - is that very often they are men (boys) who don’t know how to take care of their own needs, to speak honestly about who they are and what they want, rather than to manipulate and pretend…and then blame a woman for not “getting” it. If you’re the child of narcissistic parents, as I was, then you don’t get good ‘mirroring,’ and you don’t learn to ask for what you need. This leads to a lot of painful moments. The trouble is, no one’s going to explain this to you. Get yourself into therapy, into a 12-step program, get spiritual, do something — and learn to ask for what you need in all areas of your life. Then you’ll stop be a “nice” guy. And you’ll start being a good guy.
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kyrski 3 months agothere’s no excuse for this shit. i used to be a “nice girl” way back in high school. i’d pull the same shit, “i always listen to him, why does he go after that stupid girl?” “i’m funny, smart, nice, can’t they see that? they’re such assholes.” you know, the usual. and yes, those feelings were coming from a place of deep insecurity, BUT that doesn’t make it okay to act or think that way. i had a lot of growing up to do and i’m so glad i’m not the teenage idiot i used to be. guys like this need to get their shit together. plus, it’s fucking annoying to listen to people who are like this.
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lesw2 3 months agoI was infected with the “nice guy” virus as a much younger man, and I reflect on those painful and embarrassing learning experiences with much cringing. But the point is I grew up, and many—most?—men seem not to. Once I worked out the kinks, I embarked upon a somewhat more mature and, in the end, more successful approach to dating and courtship. It goes like this: 1. I approach and try to make time with a woman I find attractive—we used to call this a “date.” 2. I go on said date with an open mind, and without any expectation of a romantic or sexual happy ending simply because I held a door open for her or picked up the check. 3. Sometimes, it is clear that the woman is unambiguously interested in me in a more intimate kind of way—really, most women are very clear in their language and non-verbal demeanour about these things, and if you can’t read this get some insight from trusted women friends of family members. There is a big difference between what actually IS evidence of attraction and what the “nice guy” too often deludes himself into believing. 4. In those cases where I am genuinely not clear that the woman is reciprocally interested, I “man up” (I do hate that expression, but bear with me) and take a risk—I advise her that I find her appealing and enjoy her company, but I am not clear whether she is of a similar mind. Most mature women will welcome this as an opportunity to put the cards on the table one way or the other. If it turns out we are simpatico, we start planning the next date. If not, we graciously conclude that one party just isn’t into the other, and we wish each other the best and shake hands after the evening and move on. 5. Go back to Step 1 until either Step 3 or Step 4 end in a positive result. Most perfectly normal people loop through this process quite a few times before connecting with a compatible person. But I have really come to believe after much relationship and sexual experience—some of it more successful, some less, all of it a learning experience—that being clear about one’s desires and motives gets better results. “Nice guys” who never learn seem to score very low on Howard Gardner’s measures of EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)—basically, they are deficient in self-awareness and empathy. Such deficiencies are at the heart of the psychopathic personality. This isn’t to say that all “nice guys” are true psychopaths, but the fact that they have even THAT much in common with such dangerous destructive people should inspire woman to run as far as possible in the other direction. I really do think that women, and young women especially, have well-developed intuition about this stuff, and the “nice guys” just don’t get that. Believe me, I am not crazy myself about the “players,” “bros,” and “douchebags” myself, but I cannot blame young women for gravitating toward them for short term fun. If anything, the “bad boys” are transparent as hell, and the women drawn to them know exactly what they are getting into. Which is their right.
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