Do you have mysophobia?
Mysophobia is a pathological fear of contamination and germs. It’s also known as germophobia. If you’re not sure, keep reading to see if you have a slight case of germ paranoia (I know I sure do).
1. You die a little inside when someone sneezes without covering their mouth.
COVER YOUR DAMN MOUTH GERM SPREADER,
2. You probably own at least 50 pocket hand sanitizers.
You have one on you at all times, obviously, and yes you do frequently lather up to try and protect yourself from festering germs.
3. When someone sneezes in public you want to run and hide.
Mama June sneezes an awful lot on TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, which actually makes me gag.
4. Lysol is a household necessity.
Doesn’t everyone feel better after spraying Lysol on doorknobs after guests leave?
5. You really hate unnecessary physical contact.
Ugh, gross. Can’t you just email this handout to us?
6. Handshakes make you anxious.
Don’t you know how many germs you can contract from someone else’s hand?
7. If your significant other was recently sick, you’re willing to keep a distance.
“Why don’t you just stay home and rest tonight? I don’t mind dropping soup off…in a hazmat suit. Feel better!”
8. You cringe thinking of the next big family gathering.
Because you know every single great aunt of yours is going to need to kiss your cheek. What ever happened to air kisses?
9. You’ve wondered how the seven dwarfs could continue living with Sneezy.
Honestly, that guy needs to see a doctor.
10. You don’t mind someone canceling plans if they’re sick.
Let’s face it, you would rather stay home alone than be near them.
11. You’re not into being licked in the face by animals.
Your dog is adorable. You love it more than most people, but you’d prefer it if puppy’s tongue stayed away from yours.
12. You definitely don’t share food with others.
Your germs are mixing into my food and will then mix with my germs? Keep to your own plate please.
13. And you won’t be sharing a milkshake anytime soon.
It doesn’t matter if there’s two straws it’s still gross.
14. You dread airplanes.
Not because you’re afraid of flying, but because you’re trapped with everyone else and their germs.
15. And public transportation really grosses you out.
Do you know how may people have held that subway pole or who sat in this cab last?
16. Soaking in a hot tub is not your idea of a good time.
Do you know how many festering germs are swimming around in that water with you?
17. And you try to stay clear of public pools.
Everyone knows that everyone is peeing in that water.
18. You’ve had these sanitizing bad boys on your wish list forever.
It keeps your toothbrush safe from bathroom filth!!!
19. Public bathrooms? More like public enemy.
This one is too painful to discuss.