1. On Saturday, Mallory Hagan became Miss America 2013. She is not your typical “I dream of world peace” pageant type.
I’m sure she wants world peace! We all do.
2. Miss New York lives in Brooklyn.
She lives in the Park Slope/Windsor Terrace area — which, to be fair, isn’t quite the hipster enclave that Greenpoint (where Girls is set) is. But still, plenty of well-groomed beards and skinny jeans around those parts.
3. She moved to New York “to find herself.”
Really! She really said this: “I just knew that the energy of NYC was something that I really loved. I was always a little more liberal-thinking than my hometown. And I just knew that I needed to get out for a little bit, and I needed to find myself. I needed to find myself.”
4. She went to FIT (the Fashion Institute of Technology).
Where she presumably learned to wear such daring outfits as these.
5. Her talent portion was very attitude-y.
For comparison, one of the runner’s-up sang the song from Les Misérables and was totally off-key.
6. Her outfit also involved mesh sleeves, a bare midriff, and huge gold hoops.
7. Again, for comparison, this is the kind of stuff the other contestants wore in the talent portion.
9. She’s totally comfortable being almost naked!
10. She’s dating a finance guy who went to a small liberal arts school.
11. I know, I CAN’T believe the bodega ran out of PBR either.
12. See ya at Cafe Grumpy!
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