20 Reasons Super Bowl Parties Are Actually The Worst

1. Oh, it’s Super Bowl party time! It’ll be great, right? A party that’s just about hanging out on the couch?

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2. And eating?

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3. And drinking beer? Sounds awesome.

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4. In theory, maybe. But in reality…

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5. First, the really intense fans hog the couch. And there’s nowhere to sit.

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6. So you end up stuck in some corner or crevice, feeling like this.

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7. Then there’s the matter of food.

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8. It’s impossible not to look like an idiot eating a sub, which also happens to be bland and covered in way too much mayonnaise.

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9. Oh, wings…

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10. Leave you looking like this.

And of course, there are no napkins anywhere. And even if there were, you’re crammed in some corner where you can’t access them.

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11. As for the beer! The Super Bowl essentially mandates that you drink really crappy beer that tastes like piss.

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12. Then there’s dip.

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13. By the third quarter, it looks like this. Gross.

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14. And at the end of the game, the whole place looks like this. Blech.

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15. But let’s go back to the game.

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16. Everyone FREAKS out if you talk during the game.

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17. But then everyone will probably make a ton of noise during the Beyonce half-time performance, right?

The only part that really matters.

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18. FINALLY, the game’s over. Maybe “your team” even won.

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19. But then you remember.

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20. You’re full of fried food, you’re kind of drunk…and you have to go to work tomorrow.

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