1. Oh, it’s Super Bowl party time! It’ll be great, right? A party that’s just about hanging out on the couch?
5. First, the really intense fans hog the couch. And there’s nowhere to sit.
6. So you end up stuck in some corner or crevice, feeling like this.
8. It’s impossible not to look like an idiot eating a sub, which also happens to be bland and covered in way too much mayonnaise.
10. Leave you looking like this.
And of course, there are no napkins anywhere. And even if there were, you’re crammed in some corner where you can’t access them.
11. As for the beer! The Super Bowl essentially mandates that you drink really crappy beer that tastes like piss.
14. And at the end of the game, the whole place looks like this. Blech.
17. But then everyone will probably make a ton of noise during the Beyonce half-time performance, right?
The only part that really matters.
- Dylann Roof pleaded not guilty to federal hate crime charges in the Charleston church massacre.
- The World Health Organization says that an interim analysis of a potential Ebola vaccine shows "100% efficacy in individuals."
- Beijing won its bid to host the 2022 Winter Olympics. It's the first city to host both the summer and winter games.