20 Reasons Super Bowl Parties Are Actually The Worst

Bad beer, bad food, and nowhere to sit.

1. Oh, it’s Super Bowl party time! It’ll be great, right? A party that’s just about hanging out on the couch?

3. And drinking beer? Sounds awesome.

4. In theory, maybe. But in reality…

5. First, the really intense fans hog the couch. And there’s nowhere to sit.

6. So you end up stuck in some corner or crevice, feeling like this.

7. Then there’s the matter of food.

8. It’s impossible not to look like an idiot eating a sub, which also happens to be bland and covered in way too much mayonnaise.

10. Leave you looking like this.

And of course, there are no napkins anywhere. And even if there were, you’re crammed in some corner where you can’t access them.

11. As for the beer! The Super Bowl essentially mandates that you drink really crappy beer that tastes like piss.

13. By the third quarter, it looks like this. Gross.

14. And at the end of the game, the whole place looks like this. Blech.

15. But let’s go back to the game.

16. Everyone FREAKS out if you talk during the game.

17. But then everyone will probably make a ton of noise during the Beyonce half-time performance, right?

The only part that really matters.

18. FINALLY, the game’s over. Maybe “your team” even won.

20. You’re full of fried food, you’re kind of drunk…and you have to go to work tomorrow.

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