How To Become A Jets Cheerleader
Yesterday was the final round of the auditions to become a member of the New York Jets Flight Crew (read: cheerleading squad). So, while it’s too late to make the cut this year, here’s how to land a spot on the squad next year, so you can cheer for Tim Tebow in a proper uniform.
1. Pay $30 for a “prep class” so you’re ready to go!
“The classes allow potential candidates to learn the different dance style incorporated into the Flight Crew’s season performances. Taking the classes will not guarantee a spot on the squad but it should help participants at the auditions. The environment is supportive and non-competitive.” SURE.
2. Then, show up at the audition.
There are lots of rounds to get through!
3. Make sure you’re wearing the right attire.
You must wear: “A sports bra, shorts, skin colored dance tights” — skin colored. dance tights. — “any type of dance shoes.” Also, have your makeup done in advance. Got it?
But please, not in the form of a top hat.
6. Pack a snack!
Instructions say to bring your own food and drink, but presumably not too much, as you’ll be performing with a bare midriff.
7. Time to dance!
Judges will include Jets players like linebacker Aaron Maybin, pictured here — because football players have a great knowledge of dance.
8. Whip your hair!
Preferably, also have an awesome name like “Jenniphure.” (Yes, this woman is named Jenniphure.)
11. Optional: pop out of a life-size Barbie box.
12. Alternately, flaunt your feminist sentiments.
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