1. July 27, 1989: The first — and last time — we saw Gwen with hair apparently au naturale.
She’s performing at a beach party. I guess she and bleach hadn’t found each other yet.
2. January 1, 1990: Gwen and bleach become a couple.
3. December 15, 1995: A pouf.
So stop giving Snooki all the credit.
4. June 14, 1996: Bangs. A bindi. Gray/black streaks.
Blame the ’90s.
5. September 4, 1997: For the VMAs, all members of No Doubt went to the same hairdresser.
Or so I assume.
6. February 22, 1997: Gwen realizes she’s cool even when she parts and combs her hair in a very momcore way.
7. September 6, 1997: The first iteration of Gwen’s signature style, which I like to call “hair clumping.”
Peggy Wang previously dubbed them “hair turds.” Feel free to add your name for this look in comments.
8. September 10, 1998: The hair went blue, the bra got scary.
9. April 7, 1999: Arriving at an event.
I guess she took the chimney.
10. October 7, 1999: The pink trend started out great.
11. December 4, 1999: But things quickly went awry.
A half-ponytail that doubles as a facelift. The scarf. Everything about this.
12. February 10, 2000: Pink hair, glitter and corn rows unite for perhaps the one and only time in history.
13. June 2, 2001: Big ass pigtails.
So stop giving Lady Gaga all the credit.
14. September 6, 2001: Cinnamon buns.
15. February 5, 2002: Asymmetrical pigtails.
It’s a look anyone could try, really. Not that you should because Gwen is probably the only one who can pull this off, but it looks easy enough.
16. February 26, 2002: Either a cafeteria worker or grocery store ham was kind enough to provide the net for this look.
17. March 12, 2003: Even Gavin Rossdale looked perplexed by this disheveled twist.
Truly, the engineering and perfect proportions of what’s up and down are to be marveled.
18. February 27, 2005: Heart-shaped braids.
Or horns? A hair optical illusion.
19. September 16, 2005: The pouf reaches intimidating proportions.
You’d want to add height, too, if you were in the presence of someone like Naomi Campbell, who likes to intimidate people and throw things.
20. December 8, 2007: The hair clumps/turds returneth.
21. May 1, 2009: Yet another variation on multiple buns.
Did you know that if you Google Image “multiple buns” Gwen is the first person to come up? Of course you did. You would never search that and expect food to be the first result.
22. September 25, 2009: The bun is tightly pulled and relegated to her frontal lobe.
Shifty things, those hair clumps. It’s unclear looking at this photo if she’s got more buns we can’t see (odds are she does) but it would be cool if that tight brioche by her forehead were the only one.
23. November 14, 2009: Gwen’s hair rebels and dramatically frees itself prior to a Los Angeles gala.
24. May 3, 2010: The Met Gala demands a low-key look.
Gwen goes Cone Heads, minus the cone.
25. September 22, 2010: Gwen’s clone makes her debut!!! As does a lone braided bun.
Kidding, the left one is a waxwork.
26. November 13, 2010: Side bangs without the side bangs.
27. February 17, 2011: HOPEFULLY this is a sock bun.
Bread-based equivalent: bundt cake.
28. November 12, 2011: A groundbreaking way to make yourself four inches taller.
29. December 8, 2011: A FRONT bun.