12 Tips For Improving Your Sex Life From Dr. Ruth

The 84-year-old sex therapist warns: Don’t be too loud in the bedroom.

1. Don’t travel this Labor Day.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

33 million plan to travel on Labor Day. I'm more interested in how many plan on having sex! Home or away, doesn't matter.

5:55 PM - 21 Aug 12

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2. Eat walnuts.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

Men, want stronger sperm? Eat walnuts goo.gl/uyQki Walnuts = better nuts.

5:05 PM - 16 Aug 12

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3. Sleep with an inmate.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

John Lennon's killer allowed conjugal visits. These help maintain prison behavior. Makes sense: frustrated prisoners = trouble

7:08 PM - 21 Aug 12

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Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

If you're having rough time, I suggest a conjugal visit will fix you right up!

7:09 PM - 21 Aug 12

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4. Don’t be too loud in the bedroom. Because of bats.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

Did u know flies make noise when having sex. Bats know this & they hone in on them. If u don't want bats in your bedroom, shhh

8:04 PM - 24 Jul 12

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5. Don’t buy from Ikea.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

Uh oh, Ikea going into hotel business. By time you build your bed there'll be no time for sex!

8:07 PM - 15 Aug 12

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6. Don’t watch Shark Week.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

For those who missed my Tweet of last wk I said Shark Week wasn't good as foreplay as penises don't respond well to shark attacks

7:50 PM - 13 Aug 12

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7. Consider the needs of your partner. For example, don’t let him or her lick bug repellent off you.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

If you're afraid of West Nile & use a lot of repellent, shower before sex. Don't want lover licking or kissing toxic skin

3:57 PM - 16 Aug 12

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8. Speaking of bugs, don’t have sex outside.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

There are mosquitoes testing positive for West Nile virus. Maybe safer to stay indoors having sex, no?

6:19 PM - 15 Aug 12

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9. She means it.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

Yes having sex outside is "green" but just make sure none of that green is poison ivy!

6:14 PM - 13 Aug 12

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10. But if you must…

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

Those having sex outdoors, no kissing or licking I suppose.

3:58 PM - 16 Aug 12

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11. Kiss, for the people of Uganda.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

People in Uganda are urged not to kiss to avoid getting Ebola virus. Good advice but rest of us have to make up kissing deficit

8:04 PM - 30 Jul 12

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12. And be creative!

Dr. Ruth Westheimer @AskDrRuth

U can also make up your own events. Like onion ring toss onto an erect penis!

4:59 PM - 24 Jul 12

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