“He was the loneliest man…eva….in all the world…”
“I think bacteria have better lives than that…” (referring to the natives of Papua New Guinea, or as Karl calls them, the “Papua People”)
“For God’s sake, knob ache.
The Doctor says it’s me kidneys.
Says he’s gonna have to put a tube up me knob.
For God’s sake, Knob ache…”
“I saw a bee have a heart attack once…”
“I saw a cockroach playing pac-man…”
“I will not lick a little frog’s head…”
“There was Miss Piggy, who used to ride around on a 3-wheeler bike with her husband in the front basket…”
“There was a rough woman on our estate, who used to push a pram around. I thought, ‘She can’t ‘ave kids, can she?’ One day, I saw her walking. She turned around, and I got a look in the pram. Was a bucket with a face painted on it…”
“You won’t get anything done by planning….”
“I don’t check me balls, cuz I don’t like the feel…”
“There’s this Hairy Chinese Kid…”
“There’s a little chinese lad across from my flat who dances ‘round in his underpants…”
“Me Aunty Nora had wind for 5 minutes, once….”
“My dad once put a Forrest Gump kid in a wheely bin….”