Salut! My friend! Had I known you were coming, I would have chased away all of the other patrons! And you've brought a friend tonight, wonderful, wonderful, please, sit down! I have a few bottles of your favorite ranch dressing on hand, Hidden Valley for Everything! Thicker, ranchier! Come, dinner awaits!

Your usual table! Open, of course. I would kick out anyone from sitting there, my friend, if they were sitting there! I would kick out my own mother, may she rest in peace. And I have a chilled bottle of Hidden Valley for Everything to start. Please, relax ... I will be back shortly with your first course.

For the Hors d'oeuvre, we have a reimagining of your, how do you call it? The American "pizza pie." But you will see, with ranch instead of your boring condiments, oh, how it sparkles! We French, we are traditional, too held back by our gravity, and that is why I came to your country! For joy! For experimenting! For Ranch!

Taste the ranch! It is delicate, it bounces on your tongue, a tangy blend of herbs, and of spices! Oh, and I must comment: your table manners are superb! Your knife and your fork ... are they dancing together, dancing in the Grand Hall of Pizza? What a sight, what a sensation! I wonder: which one leads, and which one follows ...?

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Beef Up Your Corned Beef Hash

Corned beef hash is made up of like 10 different ingredients, and Ranch just happens to go with every single one of them.

Via: jeffreyww

Amp Up Your Frittata

You know someone might have feelings for you if they make a frittata for you. But you'll know your love can never be if they serve it to you with some ketchup.

Via: jeffreyww

Re-Invent Your Eggs Benedict

Lemuel Benedict can't tell us what he was thinking when he used hollandaise sauce for his "hangover cure," but smart guys like him usually recognize their mistakes pretty quickly.

Via: galant

Lather It On Your Breakfast Burrito

Maybe it's time to give your esophagus a break from all the hot sauce, yeah?

Via: jeffreyww

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Balut

Balut is a duck embryo that's considered an aphrodisiac in the Philippines. It's often served with beer, which means a bottle of Ranch certainly has a spot at the table.

Via: blu_pineappl3

Fried Scorpions

With some HVR, our brains MIGHT get confused and do us the favor of mistaking these for onion rings. (But no promises, of course.)

Via: ephemeris

Fugu

"Fugu" is Japanese for "Pufferfish," and a poison in it called tetrodotoxin makes it deadly. Chefs have to be extra careful to remove all the dangerous bits before serving it...but if you're willing to risk your life on some food, at least you can count on Ranch to make it good.

Via: istolethetv

Tongue

Tongue can be found in tacos, burritos, stews and sandwiches all around the world. But it's also supposed to be pretty good on its own! However, why would you eat anything "on its own" when you don't have to?

Via: haynes

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Veggie "Burgers"

We're in the 21st century, you guys. There's absolutely no reason for us to pretend we're eating a burger when we're really eating vegetables.

Via: miikkah

Tabouleh

Not sure how to pronounce it? Better stay away then!

Via: divya_

Grilled Chicken

Grilled chicken is really just an excuse for chefs to show off their grill-marking skills. They don't really expect you to eat the chicken.

Via: maya83

Tofu

Tofu is slabs is soy milk that have coagulated...just like blood does when it becomes a scab!

Via: uits

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Decorate Your Valentine's Day Gift With It

She made it for you, so you can do whatever you want with it!

Via: siribl

Throw Some On A Baked Potato For St. Patrick's Day

Doing anything else would just be blasphemy.

Via: flickr.com

Take The Initiative And Pour Some On Those Cinco De Mayo Nachos

Nobody waits for permission anymore.

Via: simondee

Slather It On Anything You Grill On July 4th

You're going to need a pretty big utensil.

Via: flickr.com

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Ajvar

What is it?
A spread made from red bell peppers, eggplant, garlic and chili pepper, Ajvar is a popular condiment in Serbian cuisine. How you eat it is totally up to you. In the Balkans, Ajvar is popular as a stand-alone salad, but it is often enjoyed as a spread as well. The red peppers can also be substituted for hotter peppers, making the dish a little spicier.

Recommended uses:
Ajvar is great as a spread to kick up hot dogs and sandwiches.

Curry Ketchup

What is it?
Exactly what it sounds like. Curry ketchup is made by combing ketchup or tomato paste with curry powder. It's got the elusive umami flavors of ketchup, but kicks up the hum drum ingredient with a good kick of a curry, bringing it to a whole new level.

Recommended uses:
Curry ketchup is a key ingredient in the German dish Currywurst, aptly enough. Try it on a sausage of hot dog some time.

Source: farm4.staticflickr.com

Pebre

What is it?
Pebre is a condiment that is popular in Chile made from coriander, onions, olive oil, garlic and aji peppers. For the uninitiated, aji peppers are also known as Peruvian hot peppers, and are medium heat peppers, rating about 40k on the Scoville chart.

Recommended uses:
Chileans typically spread pebre on barbecued meat dishes, so keep it in mind next time you're grilling.

Source: farm7.staticflickr.com

Yeast Extract

What is it?
Yeast extract is sold under a variety of names, but it's all basically the same thing – the byproduct of brewers' yeast, vegetables, and spices. It's primarily used as a rich, savory topping for toast and crackers.

Recommended uses:
Because of the rich, complex flavors, stick to spreading yeast extract on very bland or basic foods.

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Goat Cheese Burgers

You'll Need:
- 2 pounds very lean ground beef, preferably top round
- Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
- 1/4 pound goat cheese
- 2 tablespoons chopped fresh tarragon or half the amount dried, optional
- 1/4 cup Hidden Valley® For Everything®
- 1/4 cup pickled onions
- Handfull of pickle slices (optional)
- 4 burger buns, split

Directions:
- Heat up the grill. Divide beef into 4 portions. Shape each into hamburger-shaped rounds, each about an inch thick. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place wire rack on baking dish and arrange patties over it.

- Cook meat about 3 minutes on one side if you wish meat rare. If you prefer it more well done cook up to 6 minutes on one side, then turn and continue cooking 2 to 4 minutes.

- Crumble cheese and top each portion of meat with equal portions of cheese, pressing to keep mounds of cheese intact. Spread top of buns with Hidden Valley® For Everything® Layer bottom bun with cheese-topped hamburger, pickled onions and pickles. Sprinkle top of each patty with chopped tarragon, add bun top.

Source: nytimes.com  /  via: jeffreyww

Zesty Turkey Burgers

You'll Need:
-1 lb. ground turkey
- 1/4 cup Bread Crumbs
- 1 teaspoon chili powder
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
- 1/4 cup Hidden Valley® For Everything®
- 4 whole grain burger buns, split
- 4 large lettuce leaves
- 4 slices tomato
- 1 cup alfalfa sprouts

Directions:
- Heat grill. In medium bowl, combine ground turkey, bread crumbs, chili powder and garlic salt; mix well. Shape mixture into four 5-inch patties.

- When ready to grill, oil grill rack. Place patties on gas grill over medium-high heat or on charcoal grill 4 to 6 inches from medium-high coals. Cook 10 to 15 minutes or until no longer pink in center, turning once.

- Top burger buns with turkey burgers, lettuce, tomato slices and sprouts. Spread bottom halves of buns with Hidden Valley® For Everything®. Cover with top halves of buns.

Via: beantownbaker.com

Pineapple Bacon Burgers

You'll Need:
- 2 pounds lean ground beef
- 1/2 cup prepared barbecue sauce
- 1 (8 ounce) can sliced pineapple
- 4 slices swiss cheese, optional
- 8 slices bacon, cooked
- 1/4 cup Hidden Valley® For Everything®
- 4 hamburger buns, split

Directions:
- Prepare grill for indirect cooking. In a large bowl, mix together hamburger meat and barbecue sauce. Season with salt and pepper. Shape mixture into 4 large patties.

- Grill pineapple slices for 2 minutes on each side. Cook burgers, covered, until cooked through. Top with cheese and cook an additional 2 minutes.

- Layer the bottom bun with burger, bacon, and grilled pineapple slices. Spread top halves of buns with Hidden Valley® For Everything® generously.

Via: allrecipes.com

Hearty Lentil Burger

You'll Need:
- 1 1/2 cups red lentils
- 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 small onion, finely chopped
- 3 medium carrots, finely chopped
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 3/4 cup plain, dry bread crumbs
- 1/4 cup coarsely chopped parsley leaves
- 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
- 1 tablespoon kosher salt
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
- 4 hamburger buns
- 4 large tomato Slices
- 1/2 cup Hidden Valley® For Everything®

Directions:
- In a large saucepan, cover the lentils with cold water by 2 inches and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to moderate and simmer the lentils until they are very tender, about 10 minutes. Drain the lentils well.

- Preheat the grill. In a medium skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil. Add the onion and cook over moderately high heat, stirring frequently, until golden, about 6 minutes. Add the carrots and two-thirds of the garlic and cook until the carrots begin to soften, about 4 minutes. Stir in the cumin and cayenne and remove from the heat. Mix in the bread crumbs, 3 tablespoons of the parsley, the eggs, salt and pepper.

- Form the mixture into 1/4-cup burgers. Brush both sides of the burgers with the remaining 1/4 cup of olive oil. Grills until golden, about 3 minutes per side. Layer over buns with tomato slices. Top with Hidden Valley® For Everything®.

Via: foodandwine.com

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I go with everything.

Seriously. Name a single food that doesn't taste better with me. I bet you can't do it.

Seriously, have you ever had me on pizza?

Amazing.

I'm All-American

I am so American, our forefathers definitely ate me. They probably celebrated the signing of the Declaration of Independence with some Ranch-dipped buffalo fingers. I don't know for sure, but with my patriotic track record, it seems likely.

But I'm also quite multi-cultural.

See? I go well on practically anything. I span the world of culinary possibilities.

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Pizza

Is there anything better than a piping hot slice of pie, dipped in a cup of cool, creamy ranch? No, seriously, we're asking you because if there is, it could probably bring about world peace.

Potato Chips

Goes best with greasy N64 controllers and crumb-filled sleeping bags.

Buffalo Wings

It's like an epic war of "hot" and "cold" being waged across your tastebuds -- and you always win.

Anything Made Of, Filled With, Or Covered In Cheese

For instance: these mozzarella sticks.

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