Unless you count being a professional human goldfish for a living, I don’t think this guy will be employed any time soon.
“Hi, welcome to McDonalds, can I super spray tan your order today?”
No, sir, I SWEAR I wasn’t looking at your vibrantly colored eyeball. Now please don’t murder me, I just wanted to pay for my gas.
“So you mean to tell me that you won’t hire me because I don’t look like a made this life-long checkerboard tattoo commitment sober?”
I imagine walking into my local grocery store someday and fearing I may have entered some sort of weird hellish vortex when this guy rings up my groceries.
To be fair, I’m not sure if this woman is just having a really bad allergic reaction to something. If you did, miss, I hope you sought the medical attention needed.
I’m not sure if this is entirely human or a robot trying to pretend it’s a human.
This guy had a very specific dream of what he would be when he grew up. The dream was to probably terrify and most definitely murder people.
This guy still has a fighting chance for a job if he moves to Williamsburg.
And here’s the absolute guaranteed way to never EVER work again.
I’d like to think this guy works at a high executive law firm.
“Sooo, we decided to run a background check on you but now looking at you face to face, I can tell you are definitely, probably a very trustworthy human being.”