1. You overcooked the Christmas ham
Good thing that Chinese food place is still opened down the street.
2. Your drunk uncle passed out on the dinner table again
He’ll make a beautiful X-Mas centerpiece!
3. You run out of alcoholic eggnog
It’s probably for the best, your drunk uncle is already down for the count
5. Your parents discover your bisexual amidst dinner
Tell them they now have double the chances at grandchildren. Parents love grandchildren.
6. You accidentally destroy your nephew’s prized gingerbread house
Good job, jerk. Now you have to spend the rest of the night trying to put it back together with superglue. Or, you can give him 10 bucks and call it a night.
7. You forgot you were supposed to make the Christmas turkey
8. Your nice but racist grandmother starts saying anti-semitic remarks at the dinner table in front of your Jewish girlfriend
You tell your girlfriend grandma has Alzheimer’s (she doesn’t).
9. Your nice but racist girlfriend starts making off-color jokes at the dinner table
You break up immediately.