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1. Why does your hair straightener smell like burnt toast?
2. How come every time I open the bathroom cabinet this happens?
3. And what's the minefield of products on the ground every time I take a shower?
4. Do you...wash yourself with this?
5. Seriously, how are there even that many brands of shampoo?
6. Really, why do you spend so much time in the bathroom?
7. You know I can hear the camera shutter every time you take a selfie, right?
8. What's with using a hairdryer at ungodly hours?
9. Are the 17 consecutive episodes of various Real Housewives franchises necessary?
10. When you're on the phone to friends, why do you speak in such loud, overexcited voices?
11. Do you really need to check your hair THAT many times before we go out?
12. And what's with the constant outfit changes?
13. How on earth do you afford that many items of clothing?
14. Is PMS really a thing and if so can you please warn me when it's about to happen?
15. You know you don't actually sound like Demi Lovato, right?
16. How do you do that towel wrapping thing around your head?
17. And really, how do you put up with living with me?
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