10. WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
No morning glories in this romantic comedy from the nineties, just some good old fashioned Sandra Bullock awkwardness we know and love as she convinces a family she’s the fiance of a man in a coma while falling in love with his brother.
I wonder if Julian Assange gets it through the Ecuadorian Embassy’s cable…
9. HOT FUZZ
No this isn’t a porno from the days of Dirk Diggler, but the second instalment of the Cornetto trilogy from Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, following two coppers in a quaint murderous town of England.
8. TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT
If there is a porn movie of the same name I’m sure it’s better than this poor man’s John Hughes ‘comedy’. Safe to say any type of orgasm from watching this film was faked.
7. FISTS OF FURY
Bruce Lee’s character may be working in an ice cream factory, but there’s no accidental spills that need to be licked up, other than the criminals smuggling money right under his nose.
6. JENNIFER’S BODY
Although I’m pretty convinced a lot of guys and girls (I don’t discriminate) will get off on Megan Fox’s sheer sex appeal, this comedy horror penned by Diablo Cody is more about literal man-eating.
5. EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE
This movie will not have the climax you were looking for… unless it was to see a kid with Aspergers go on the hunt for the lock to fit a mysterious key, left behind by his dead father.
4. JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH
For those hoping to find some Iggy Azalea like booty action then you’ll be sadly disappointed with this coming of age Disney animation. Shame on you.
It has the farcical plotline of two teens being in love with President Richard Nixon but the only scandal in this 1999 comedy is that of Watergate. Although it packs a double porno punch considering the codeword for Bernstein and Woodward’s - the guys who broke the illegal tapping story - source.
Deep Throat if you were wondering
2. THE HARDER THEY COME
Despite the name and the poster, this is not a tropical porno, but a 1972 Jamaican crime film starring in Jimmy Cliff.