1. Everyone hits snooze. But not everyone hits snooze as hard as you do.
2. You're a five-or-more snoozer. As a result, your body has actually learned how to hit snooze while still asleep.
3. In that moment after your first alarm, you fantasize about the wonderful ways your life would improve if you were a morning person.
4. And in that moment you have actually dreamed about getting up, bright-eyed and alert and ready for the day.
5. You might even wake briefly to stare out the window and think of all the wonderful things you could achieve that morning.
6. It's not your fault. You're physically incapable of getting up at the first alarm.
7. It's kind of ruining your life.
8. But your body just can't do it. You're trapped in a vicious cycle of broken promises.
9. Every time you try to escalate your alarm clock strategy, your body somehow adapts.
10. You start making deals with yourself.
11. It's kind of amazing the things you can sleep through when you're snoozin'.
12. Finally, you've slept so long that you're absolutely effing screwed.
13. Often the rage at your alarm clock is the thing that actually wakes you up.
14. By this point, you're up, you're out of bed, but you're not technically awake yet.
15. You may even have gotten out the house, but the battle scars of your snoozing will show for the rest of the day.
16. You just can't hide it when you're the kind of person who snoozed for an hour.
17. Kids, when you snooze, you lose.
18. If you hadn't snoozed a snooze too far, this never would have happened.
19. But you did snooze, and now you've gone and screwed your whole day.
Riana's not a morning person
20. You're a five-or-more snoozer, and that means you're the kind of person who does this.
Proof I'm not a morning person. Yes that is milk on my toast.
21. Was that extra five minutes (or ten minutes or 30 minutes) of sleep really worth it?
22. For some reason, you have always assumed that when you got older it would get easier.
23. But no. Now you realise that this will be a life-long hate affair.
