This should not have even gone to trial. His hotness is well-precedented and was upheld in the 2010’s Me vs. My Sister Who is Obvious Blind.

I don’t know what horrifies/impresses me more, the quiet girl’s technique (and I wish I could thank her for bringing my middle school fantasies to life) or the bully’s ability to take a punch. That girl’s got a stunt woman career in her future. My fear is that this will go beyond the lockeroom and the quiet one will have to watch her back for years to come.

So, if he’s not lying, he the world’s worst boyfriend. And that pulling the plug part is hilarious. He makes it sound like she was lucid enough to have full on conversation with him about it. “So, babe. Do you think I should totally die today or what?”

They all look like those aliens in the Twilight Zone episode, “Eye of the Beholder.” (“No change!” Gasp!)

I love it when they jump in each other’s faces and scream, “Yeah, now what? Now what? Uh, huh. Talk that mess now. Now what, huh?” I want to do that at work sometimes.  Boss: I thought you were going to send that email out.
Me: I did.
Boss: I didn’t see it.
Me: (goes back to desk, opens sent folder, resends email, wants so desperately to write, “Yeah, now what? Now what? Uh, huh. Talk that mess now. Now what, huh?”

“If you wear your glasses every day,” said my mother told a sweet, gullible 3-year-old who knew nothing of science, “You won’t have to wear them when you grow up.” LIAR!

Talk about “slut shaming.” Old Burton is a hapless drunk looking for love while trying to tame a wildflower, but Liz is a wanton, old-timey, “How dare you wear white?”, adulterous whore. But the real tragedy is that Connie Francis doesn’t “dig European men.”

Never noticed the resemblance to Tom Hardy. Yum.