2. The T-34, equipped with one blaster turret and two angled rocket launchers.
3. The iTurtle, equipped with enough processing power to hack into the FBI’s mainframe in SECONDS.
ARE YOU AFRAID YET???!
4. The Turtlenaught, equipped with indestructible armor and College Football level agility.
5. The Turtl3DJ, capable of spinning beats so pure your ear drums explode.
HEAR THE PAIN.
6. The Turtleshark, combining the calm and strong nature of a turtle with the reckless anarchist personality of a shark.
7. The Turtlegator, raised in the valleys of Phnom Penh, where they were taught mind control.
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE.
8. The ChefTurtle3000, who will cut you up and serve you to willing patrons for a high fee.
PROFITING OFF YOUR DEATH.