1.
When you finally accepted your very strong feelings.
2.
When you just wanted the media to ask Taylor about something that actually matters for once.
3.
When you asked that make-or-break first date question.
4.
When you bought it up again later, just to double-check.
5.
When you gave Vampire Weekend the answer they've been so desperate for.
6.
And reminded Ezra Koenig not to get started with you.
7.
When you got tired of people thinking you were talking to your breakfast.
8.
When you couldn't help but give people side-eye.
9.
When you realised you're in this for life.
10.
When you wished this million-dollar idea were yours.
11.
When you got a little political just to prove your point.
12.
When you went to Oxford.
13.
When you first realised you were a class above all the non-believers.
14.
When you knew who your true friends were.
15.
And when you realised your enemies.
16.
When you knew that any self-respecting 800-year-old dildo collector would be on your side.
17.
When you decided it was time to change the world.
18.
When you left everyone who wasn't on your side behind.
19.
When you knew you were in this for the long haul.
20.
When you deemed your use of the Oxford comma absolutely, inextricably mandatory.
21.
And when you realised anyone who doesn’t believe is simply a sentence-slurring barbarian.
