Last week, Kristen Stewart; the world’s poster girl for not giving a f*ck, came out and told Vanity Fair France that no-one knows “d*ck sh*t” about her personal life.
In keeping with her universal theme of being a general little rebel, she explained the way she sees the media’s sick and twisted obsession with celebrities: “I try not to let it mess with me, because my true personal life, as much as people think they know about it, they don’t know d*ck sh*t. Who could? By the way nobody knows. Nobody knows what the f*ck is going on.”
Beyond inventing our new favorite swear word, Kristen reminded us once again that couldn’t care less about our opinions.
This fact reminded us, neither does her hair.
1. That time she rocked a mullet
Rocked it (unwashed) like it was nobody’s business.
2. That time she remembered it was unwashed and tried to give it a little more oomph
(No comment on whether or not that technique worked for or against her.)
3. That time she made The Mullet Pony a thing
A thing that might not take off, but hey, still a thing.
4. That time she didn’t have a mullet
And burned all our eyes with her golden should-feature-in-a-fairytale locks.
5. That time she covered it all in a beanie
With sunglasses. At night.
6. That time she got windblown
And had to brace herself against the wall, in awe of her ability to hoard all f*cks in the history of the world.
7. That time she looked like this
And still didn’t give a D.S.
8. That time she kinda had red hair
And talked about it heaps with her hands.
9. That time she let someone braid her hair
Excusing the fact they obviously gave a D.S. about her hair.
10. That time she missed her salon appointment
And then didn’t make another one for two months.
11. That time she cut it all off
And then posed without shoes for Vanity Fair.
12. That time she basically had dreadlocks
And teamed it with a killer smokey eye because, whatever.
13. That time she did a cool twist thing
And was totally stoked about it.
14. That time she showed off her scalp
Because dandruff free since ‘93, bitches.
15. That time it was really long
And it made her smile - and a world feel concerned.
16. That time it had, like, two cornrows
And upped her street cred tenfold.
17. That time it was really, really shiny
Because she must have read somewhere to always rinse with cold water. Maybe.
18. That time it, well, everytime
Because it’s impossible to give a d*ck sh*t when you’re part of Kristen Stewart’s being. Fact.