Hey wats up! I write the Seinfeld parady account @seinfeld2000 “Sein feld Current Day.” Everyone RT and Favs, its great but I dont know whats in it for me yet. Seem’s like a lot of creative effort but I doant make any $$. My frend Karim says you cant make loats of $$$$$ from Tweter exept if you get a book-deal. I know Shit My Dads Say and whatever they got a book deal because tweter.
But so far Ive been doing it for almost 10 days now I have over 2000+ follower’s no one contacted me for a book-deal. I contacted and tweet Randem House USA and Pengeun USA, I got no responses. I caled their staff member’s and left vmails but that was day’s ago. How rude!!! So Im thinkeng Tweter 140 chacter limit is holden back my cretivity. May be if I write a full “Seinfeld Curent Day” scene peopel will “stand at etention” and give me $$ or bookdeal.
So I now present to U, “The Zune” (Senfeld seasen 26 epsode 5 scene 3) btw this is a PARADY!!!!! (Seinfeld was canceled by N.B.C. in 1997)
Thank you Jery Seinfedl for all you’re years of out standing comedy and thank you to BUZZ FEED for helepng my dream come true!!!!!
Current Day (Hypetheticle) Seinfeld
Seasen 26 Epsolde 5 Sene 3
Night time JARY apartment.
JEREY walk inside his apartement, smokeing hot women VULVA (Anna Kendrecks) on his arm. She is he’s new girlfriend.
JERY: Boy oh boy! Here Come’s The Boom starring Keven James was a high quality flick, didn’t U think, Vulva? That’s where we went to on our date.
VULVA: Yes, it combine quality with heart. Im SUPER surprise Keven James did not even get nominated for The SAGG Awards for his perforements.
JERRY is suddenly kissing VULVA, its rough racy and agressive, weve never seen Jary doing it quite like this before!
The passion, that spark is still alive. He is 65 but in the best shape of he’s life, hes musels are rippeling.
Sudenly KRANDER berst into the aperment.
We see JARY grandfather clock show *CLONG CLONG* it 2 O-Clock a.m.
KRANDAR’s floateing around JERY apartement on he’s hover skates.
VULVA (in her underwere): Who is this man, Im uncomfortabel. But hover skates are normal for me in this modern time, Im more worried becuase of stranger tall man with one long dread lock (KRANDAR) see me like this!!! Oh, my privites!
JERRY (nude): Krandar, why are U here (he whisper loudly in a funy way) I was about to enter 94,211 woman of my life. I meteculosly been writing, writing, organizing, cateogorizeing every sex, every every woman since 1973. I constant need different women all the time. They think Im interested as a parterner. No way hosay, I use them for they’re parts and then I discard them. New-York City is crawling with thirty one flavers of woman I can take adventege of,even at my current golden age 65.
VULVA: Hay I heard that!!!!! Im leaving Jary, U R weird, and I went into UR bathroom, there was a small fat man andn bald, no cloths on and hes washing his face from your toilette. Immediately he try try to take an iPhoto of my nude parts. Also I wanted to ask you why doant you have any ferneture.
JEARY pause for 45 secends. Hes eyes are moving from left to rite as he thinks of alibi.
JERRY: I sold my furneture for $$ four months ago.
VULVA leave. Studeo audience instructed to not laugh,leave this be a quiet and drematic moment.
We see zoom of Jary with salt n peper hair thinking about his life.
JERRY intercom buzz. JERY go to intercom.
While hes walking to it, Gangan Style is playing,suddenly flashmob break out (Cast Of Glee Darron Chris speciel appear).
JERRY arive at Intercom and answer.
ELAINE: Its Lanny!!!
Studio audence applade.
JARY: Well, doant be a stranger! Come on up!
ELANE: OK! I’m on my way!!
GERGE exittes the bath room, hes nude but look clean, look crisp. Good skin tone.
GERGE (yeling at Intercom): Lanny is that you???
ELANE (thru Intercom): Yes, Greg is that U??
GERGE: You betcher! You comeing up to Jarys apartement?
GERB: Cool. Hes giggling. See U soon!
ELANNE: Hehehe be right there!!
We see GERN has full erect. KRANDAL and JARY are notice and exchange looks.
GROUGE: What what what??? I dont like the look in ur eyes.
KRANDALF: You have to put on clothing rite now!! Be cool around Elane, dont be perven, she always never say yes to going out with you on a date. Plus shes secretley dating Carrie Bradshaw the famess New-York columnest auther and fashien Writers husband (Cris Noth) Mister Big.
GRUGE run to toiletroom and ELLEN enter. Her Jacket blinking and glowing with LCD panels and lites.
KRANKRAN and JARRIE treat this modern jacet as normel, modern.
GEORGE exit toilette room hes wearing a tradetional Thai tuxido. His holding a Micro soft Zune.
Zoome in on the zune, we see it sparkleing in the candel lite in JARY apartment.
GRENDO (ice cold): Oh hey Ellane.
ELAYNE: Nice Micro soft Zune. How many .mp3s does it containe.
ELANNE pull out from her perse pro biotic yogert sampels shes been living on for the past 8 days becase their giving them out on her stret corner. She just take the sampels, she learn’s the Yogert sampel staff schedule, 11 am on Monday to Thursdy until 3 or until all the sampels are gone, Friday 1pm until 5 pm or untel al the samples are gone. ELAEN have to stock up for weekend. She learns this, she know this now.
GRUDE: Almost 1000 but it depend on the lenth and if .mp3 or .wav but I guess you asked about .mp3 only, aboute 1000 but i have some .wave files some voice memo things about when I see kind of underwear I want to see you in, i note it down.
ELANE: Ew! Gross!! Graude ur never gonu get up inside this!!!!!!!!!
ELANE pull out a smal hangun from her perse, she about to shoot GROTE. Sudenly BARAC HOSEIN OBAME walk in with a huge magette and the magnette atract her gun with a *CLANK*
BARAC HOSEIN (grin): SORRY, but Im Barry Hoseine and Im here to take your rigts your freedems and your guns no matter what!!
Everything freze frame and credits role.
Seasen 26 Senfeld theme song sing by Chres Marten Cold Play, give it a fresh pizaz.
This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
- Do you know what happened in the news this week? Time to take our quiz.