1.
isn’t it weird how women lose their bodies and become ethereal vapor for a short time after giving birth
2.
ME: i'd like to get rid of all this PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body ME: and my head
3.
Whoa whoa whoa nobody told me that after this bikini body boot camp workout I'd be deployed to the bikini body war
4.
i spy with my little eye, something MEAN. yeah its you, talking about my little eye again
5.
i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die
6.
when someone bumps into you, immediately say (loudly) “oh no my hot bod!”
7.
I'd be flattered if a masseuse told me I felt tense. They're usually like "where are your bones" and "is that a hot wheels toy."
8.
body types; hourglass, pear, crushed beer can, orb, 14 bricks, losing lottery ticket, splash on VHS, zero gravity wheelbarrow, a bat.
9.
Just found out real women have curves, now I get why I'm sitting here all alone with isosceles triangle tits - I don't exist
10.
RT if your areolas are so large they make a venn diagram
11.
Lots of compliments on my new hair cut today ones like "oh" and "gothic George Washington"
12.
A guy said "You have pretty eyes" I was like no shit
13.
what's it called when u have lice but in ur eyebrows. asking 4 a friend. my friend just saw them on my brows and was curious
14.
if u can't handle me at my worst then my best is literally the same except I brush my hair
15.
girls don't tell you this but a period is when the iron in our blood turns to gold and we go shoe shoppin wit tha monies
16.
body hair on women is so taboo that in fucking razor commercials they shave an already bald ass leg like lmao
17.
Lol I can't believe that I have to exist inside of a body UGH THAT IS SO OLD FASHIONED, PLS JUST LET ME BE A CHILL MIST
18.
Lose Weight With This One Weird Tip! Cut Your Butt Off And Throw It In The Trash