5 SOLID REASONS WHY MTV CATFISH IS THE BEST TV SHOW EVER, EVER

If I wanted to watch people looking for love and being ultimately happy I'd put my DVD of Tangled on repeat play. Instead give me MTV Catfish where the fabulous murky world of on-line dating is laid bare. Here are five Catfish doozies...

1. The story of Brian and Jesse

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Beefcake hunk o' love ex-solider Brian and slinky blonde Jesse were online 'courting' for three years after meeting on Facebook.

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But three years is LONG. So Nev and Max whisked Jesse to North Carolina for an in-the-flesh rendez-vous. Jesse was so happy. Happy, happy, happy! #happy

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Until Brian stood her up. BAD BRIAN.

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Guys, quit judging. BRIAN HAD AN EXCUSE. Phew.

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Um, he'd been arrested for 'Possession of a weapon of mass destruction'. Hey! It's not as bad as it sounds. Brian can explain. It was all a silly misunderstanding. It was merely a gun. Who doesn't love GUNS? Jesse can overlook this right?

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Oh and he was married too. BAD BRIAN.

2. But if Catfish hammers home one thing about on-line love it is: PEOPLE LIE ABOUT WHO THEY ARE.

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Cassie had found the love of her life. Steve. Cassie had even proposed - online, obv- to Steve. He said yes!

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But Nev and Max wanted answers about this shadowy on-line so-called 'Steve'. Obviously Max filmed proceedings on his teeny-tiny camera.

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The duo informed Cassie that 'Steve' was in fact a lad called Tony. But Cassie knew Tony. It was the cousin of her best mate GLADYS.

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CASSIE WAS BEING WOOED BY GLADYS!

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Not OK, Gladys. Not even remotely ok. Yes, YOU LOOK SHEEPISH, LADY.

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Fortunately for Gladys, Cassie was one of those nice wishy-washy jelly-elbowed sorts who caves in when someone is sorry.

3. OK, everyone who contacts Catfish is optimistic... but Catfish's ultimate 'glass half full' lady was the wondrous Keyonnah…

Keyonnah was in a passionate on-line tryst with Shad. Y'know, 'Shad?' SHAD!

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SHAD GREGORY MOSS. Otherwise known as very famous multimillionaire rap star Bow Wow. Yes, THE Bow Wow. Look... everyone just shut up. This could happen.

Nev's face sums up all ALL of our feelings. Tip: Things are really bad on Catfish when even Nev thinks you're a gullible nork. But, hang on, Keyonnah WAS being wooed by a rapper...

Step forward... Dee Pimpin' - Ok, not Bow Wow. Ok, not even a man. Ok I laughed so hard I ruptured an internal organ. I am a bad person.

Never mind, Nev and Max didn't leave Keyonnah looking too daft. She got to snuggle up with the actual, real, 100% totally him this time Bow Wow. A HAPPY ENDING.

4. But DON'T lose faith in online dating. I bring good news...

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Kya fell madly in love with her boyfriend Alyx via the blood-thirsty fang-obsessed site Vampire Freaks

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One small hiccup: Kya said she was a woman called Ellie. Here's Ellie.

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This is Kya. Note: NOT REMOTELY 'ELLIE'.

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But Kya felt bad about this 'I'm Ellie' business. She told Alyx who she really was. Did he care? DID HE HECK. In fact he said I STILL LOVE YOU. The couple arranged to meet....

But Alyx wasn't exactly who he said he was either.

Alyx was actually Dani, a transgender man. Nev and Max did contemplative nods. What would Ellie-who-is-actually-Kya say about this?

IT WASN'T A PROBLEM. Love is love and these two were SMITTEN. Excuse me, I'm getting a little sniffly...

Holy heck I LOVE MTV'S CATFISH.

5. Because Catfish doesn’t just document dupers and dastardly deeds...

Like that amazing time Nev and Max met Lauren...

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And Lauren said she'd been online dating Derek for eight whole years...

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And the boys were, like, 'Dude, something has to be wrong here. Let's use our super internet sleuth powers and film it on tiny cameras and then do empathic nods when it turns out Derek is a 77 year old woman called Agnes'. (I'm paraphrasing)

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But Derek was actually completely 100% Derek!

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And it turned out they got on even better when they could kiss and cuddle and snuggle and grope and... well you get the idea.

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In fact Derek asked Lauren to marry him. Damn it Catfish, you RULE.

And the best news of all....The third season of Catfish: The TV SHOW - begins on Monday, May 12 at 9pm on MTV.