So the way to foment revolution is to shoot a bunch of innocent teenagers, most of whom are the same race as he is? FAIL.

DAMMIT, Crissy, 7-Eleven serves SLURPEES not slushies!!!!

DUH! I think any morning radio show uncovered this fact in, say, 2004.

C’mon, internets, I have yet to see a good slow jam about this. Where’s the equivalent of “Take Your Name Off My Phone.”?

I sense “morning radio show” shenanagins. Don’t you?

Twitter spell check says “Micheal” is right and “Michael” is wrong. Check it out.

It’s clear from the video that in the photo, her abs are photoshopped. Why?

I call shenanagins on this call…It first hit the net on April Fool’s Day, plus there’s been a faked version of this premise floating for years…

WTF is “mild” looting? If you break in and take stuff, there’s nothing mild happening. Especially if you own the store.

It’s a message from God: He wants us to stop putting naturally occurring phenomenon on the interwebs!