7 Alternatives To Sexy Halloween Costumes

Not sure whether to go raunchy or realistic? We’ve made a comprehensive list for you (turns out sexy costs a little more).

1. Sexy nurse

“Strut your stuff in this sexy nurse costume includes a zip front mini dress with short sleeves, attached collar, matching nurse head piece and leg garter.”
Cost: $37.95

Real nurse

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“Our lab coats have three big reinforced pockets, plus a stitched down back belt for a well tailored look. Alpha sizing makes it easy to find the right size.”
Cost: $18.99

2. Sexy pumpkin

“Three Piece Perfect Pumpkin Jack O’ Lantern Costume features Halter Top with Eyes and Nose Detail, Layered Mini Skirt with Mouth Detail, and Leafy Vine Head Piece.”
Cost: $58.95

Real pumpkin

“I took it home and cut a great big hole out of the top. Then I emptied out all of the gunk and separated the seeds (I’m going to spice and roast those fuckers later). It took forever to clean it out. Then I cut a couple big leg-holes. Then things got weird.”
Cost: $2.00

3. Sexy maid

“Mistress Maid Costume includes apron dress with cage skirt, choker and headband.”
Cost: $49.95

Real maid

“5.25 oz. blend poplin. 65% polyester / 35% combed cotton. Pre-cure durable press. Industrial wash. 8 buttons. One piece, lined, notched lapel. 41” (based on size medium - back). Two large lower pockets. White scalloped waist apron (2 pockets). Princess seams in back, short sleeves.”
Cost: $39.29

4. Sexy pizza delivery girl

“Serve up an extra-hot, seductive look in this Sexy Pizza Delivery adult Halloween costume. Spice things up with the included teeny top, “hot dish” apron, and steamy coupons. This sexy costume guarantees a special delivery of fun, in thirty minutes or less!”
Cost: $29.99

Real pizza delivery girl

“Order online for fast delivery of hot and delicious pizza from Domino’s.”
Cost: Part-time sacrifice

5. Sexy pizza

“The Yandy exclusive Sexy Pizza costume includes a pizza slice print mini dress with a padded front pizza slice front panel, padded crust shoulder pads and a zip up back.”
Cost: $69.95

Real pizza

“Please remove pizza before wearing.”
Cost: $5.99

6. Sexy catwoman

“This Sexy Purrfect Cat Costume includes the catsuit, choker, and the headpiece with ears. This great costume is great for your next party!”
Cost: $63.79

Real catwoman

“Dr Eleanor Abernathy MD JD, better known as the Crazy Cat Lady, is a mentally-ill woman who always surrounds herself with a large number of cats. She usually screams gibberish and/or throws her cats at passersby.”
Cost: $3.99 per week (per number of cats), plus vaccinations (or not)

7. Sexy taxi driver

“Tina Taxi Driver Costume For Women”
Cost: $44.99

Real taxi driver

It’s a taxi driver.
Cost: $34.99 for the jacket.

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