5. And there are stickers…..EVERYWHERE.
7. But you also feed them chocolate by the kilo. And worry they’ll tell their parents.
8. Play time means having to stoop to ridicule with games such as: master, servants and dungeons.
9. It is beyond embarrassing to have a toddler criticize your clothing.
10. Playing hide and seek and the kids are way too good. Panic. Should I call 999?
11. Letting the kids play with your hair is pain like no other.
12. All the close contact means you’re always at risk of contracting a really phleghmy cough because the kids have a permanent cold.
13. But you have to give equal amounts of attention to the kids to avoid sibling rivalry.
14. You constantly find yourself on all fours picking up micro pieces of toys lost in the carpet.
16. To the point where you’ve changed your iPhone passcode way too many times.
18. The kids start prodding and questioning various body parts.
19. And sing interesting renditions of Disney songs.
20. At the end they leave you presents in the toilet - for the love of god FLUSH.
22. And when the kids are in bed? Stealth snacking.
Raiding the fridge and putting everything back into place without a trace is a specialty.