1. You never have to brush your teeth (and your breath still smells nice).
2. You have a portable bathroom at all times.
3. Your preferred mode of transportation is crawling.
4. And you can eat whatever you want and never worry about your weight!
7. You won’t get in too much trouble if you make a mess!
10. You get awesome birthday parties and get to smash your face in cake.
11. You can be naked anytime you like.
17. Your Halloween costumes are always the cutest.
18. You get the joy of experiencing something for the first time!
19. All your food comes “pre-chewed,” and you have fun cutlery!
20. You are the center of attention, and everyone caters to your every need.
Which is exactly how GEICO customer service treats you!