How To Break Up With Your iPhone

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know Apple is coming out with a new iPhone in September. It’s time to start figuring out who on your family plan has an upgrade you can steal and emotionally preparing to say goodbye to your old phone. Breaking up may be hard to do, but something better is right around the corner. We promise.

1. Aren’t beginnings of relationships with your phone just the best? At first, it’s all:

2. And you’re all:

3. Sure, there may be some signs of problems, but that’s to be expected. Relationships with technology require sacrifice and compromise.

4. You’re so blissed out those first few months it’s all worth it… right?

5. Like, ohmygod, totes.

6. But then the calories start to count again, the shine wears off (literally), and you realize it may be time for a change. It’s been almost two years.

7. The spark is gone. Real talk: it’s not me… it’s you.

8. Since the truth hurts, it may be best to ease into it. Enter: the slow fade.

#nailedit

9. Subtlety not your strong suit? No matter. Drama or bust.

10. If all else fails, you can always take the honest (aka: mature) route. Your contract has run its course, and it’s time to move on.

11. It’s gonna be awkward. It’s gonna be weird. There are gonna be hurt feelings.

12. Rebounding is expected, but don’t waste too much time.

13. Once you’ve got the iPhone 5S like you wanted, it’s all fun and games again.

… at least, until the iPhone 6 comes out.

As the late, great Steve Jobs says: don’t settle. So, why are you holding on to your old and most likely broken phone when you could trade it in on Gazelle? Get a little cash money in your pocket, and get on the iPhone 5S train.

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