IT'S TRUE, I'M PRETTY MUCH DEAF: “Gavon Laessig wields a magical chainsaw that also grants a wondrous power to recover quickly from wounds. Additionally, he is protected from damage by alien technology and he has inherited all of the powers and talents of a goat, however this power fades when he is knocked unconscious. Gavon Laessig has learned to absorb the damage from most physical attacks and use it to amplify his proficiency at picking locks, but this power only lasts five minutes at a time. He likewise rides an astonishing lizard into battle and he conquers assailants using a terrifying laser cannon made from rubber, but using this power draws a lot of attention. Terribly, Gavon Laessig suffers from being deaf.”

Can I marry this tweet and have sex with it and have awesome tweet babies with it?

People who say “frak” instead of “fuck.” Unless you're talking about hydraulic fracturing in shale deposits, it's time to give up the BSG ghost.