10 Things You Should Never Say To Someone From Austin

Austin Texas is a city known for live music, breakfast tacos and (among other things) Sixth Street. But we're also a bunch of people with discerning tastes and an overabundance of eagerness to remind you of our discerning taste. By the end of this gif compendium, you will know exactly how discerning.

10. "I'm in a band"

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Brother, this is the Live Music Capitol of the world. We have more festivals than baptisms per capital here. You're in a band? Well guess what? I'm in a band. My parents are in a band and my grandmother was Geddy Lee's bass instructor.

9. "I took 35 to get here"

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Aside from Rick Perry, the east-side and Austinites themselves, Interstate Highway 35 is the most reliable Austin related punching bag. Deciding to travel on I-35 at any given point of the day is like playing Russian Roulette with a two-shooter. Between traffic jams that emerge out of nowhere and on-ramps that seem to encourage cutting off 18-wheelers, arriving on time to any destination between Round Rock and Manchaca on 35 is baffling. Sort of like completing the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.

8. Virtually anything that speaks favorably upon Texas A&M football

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Texas has the dubious honor of not even playing against A&M, who recently took their talents to the SEC (coughs nervously). Still, god help you if you're eating pizza on The Drag and someone hears you say something nice about those damned Aggies.

Author's note: I might be embellishing here...okay, I'm definitely embellishing...

7. "I just got a new apartment!"

Really? You did? I'm so excited for you! I can barely contain myself and the rage slowly building up inside me. What? Why am I so ragey? Oh, no particular reason. It's not like the last five apartment vacancies got filled five minutes before I could fork over the last two months of tips or anything.

Pro-tip: Don't bother looking for an apartment here unless you're packing wads. In fact, don't even bother looking. Hell, don't even move here. We're full.

6. "I'm moving to Austin!"

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Did you even READ the last item? We're full. Go (stay) home.

5. "What the heck?! I just moved here and my rent already went up $75?!"

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We tried to warn you...

4. "I'm going to get something to eat from [chain restaurant]"

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Haven't you seen the "Keep Austin Weird" shirts? Don't you know what this city represents, maaaan? Nevermind that entire slogan came from a bygone era before Austin was a few hundred thousand short of one-million citizens or started hosting international racing tournaments, or housed multi-national tech giants or...or... How dare you suggest spending your money on food at a place that isn't owned and operated by someone born at the heart of Burnt Orange country? Hey, speaking of Burnt Orange...

3. "Let's go to dirty sixth"

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Sixth street is split up by two main thoroughfares of Austin. On the extreme east is I-35. A quarter-mile or so west, Sixth Street is again intersected by Congress Avenue. The area between these two is known as "Dirty Sixth" from the amount of grabby, drunk and less than congenial freshman experiencing their first year of independence. If you're on sixth street it better be your birthday, or the birthday of someone you've either (A) helped move two consecutive times or (B) picked up from the airport. Otherwise, I can do nothing for you son.

2. "I don't like breakfast tacos"

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Gif negates necessity for caption.

1. "Austin isn't THAT weird"

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As if the looping gif above wasn't indication enough of how apoplectic we can get sometimes, here's one more to enjoy. In reality, we're a bunch of fun loving, beer drinking freaks. Make no mistake, this is Texas; don't mess with us-but if you're not doing anything later wanna come to the BBQ? Doesn't matter which one, it's Sunday, by the time you get to the period at the end of this sentence, 40 more Webber propane grills have just fired up.