1. The Hangover = If You Drink, Don’t Get Married
Brazilian Title: Se Beber, Não Case!
Should Have Been: How about Ressaca? The actual word for hangover in Portuguese. Also: cool rework on the cover art, bro.
2. Meet The Parents = Getting Into A Cold One
Brazilian Title: Entrando Numa Fria
(This phrase is frequently used when you’re walking into a tough/unpleasant/tricky situation. So I get it, but…)
Should Have Been: Reunir Os Pais, which is the literal translation… Or even something a bit looser like Conhecendo Os Sogros a.k.a. meeting the in-laws.
3. Get Him To The Greek = It’s A Lot Of Rock, Dude
Portuguese Title: É Muito Rock, Meu
Should Have Been: You could have just called it Levá-lo Para O Show (take him to the show) or Levá-lo Para O Teatro (take him to the theater). Greek would have been weird to use though, I’ll give you that.
4. Knocked Up = The Worst Luck
Portuguese Title: Um Azar do Caraças
Should Have Been: Estamos Gravida, which is “we’re pregnant” or Lá Vem Surpresa, which means “here comes a surprise.” Literally it could have been anything else besides this title that suggests pregnancy is the end of the world…
5. Funny People = Beautiful People
Portuguese Title: Gente Gira
Should Have Been: It’s actually quite simple: Gente Engraçada or Gente Cômica, which literally means “funny people.” Groundbreaking, I know.
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall = A Nice Pair Of… Roller Skates
Portuguese Title: Um Belo Par de…Patins
(Please tell me where there are roller skates involved in any part of any scene of this movie??)
Should Have Been: Tentando Esquecer A Sarah Marshall… a.k.a. “trying to forget Sarah Marshall.” Come on, guys.
7. 21 Jump Street = Angels Of The Law
Brazilian Title: Anjos Da Lei
Should Have Been: Os Rapazes Da Lei (dudes, or boys of the law) or Academia de Polícia (the police academy). But Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill being called angels, though? Just, nah.
8. Annie Hall = Neurotic Fiancé, Nervous Fiancé
Brazilian & Portuguese Title: Noivo Neurótico, Noiva Nervosa
Should Have Been: Pretty sure you could have just left this one alone: Annie Hall, or Ana Hall… If you really feel the need to translate something.
9. Because I Said So = My Mom Wants Me To Get Married
Brazilian Title: Minha Mãe Quer Que Eu Case
(Yes, that’s pretty much the plot of the movie; but still…)
Should Have Been: “Porque Eu Já Diz E Pronto” a.k.a. “Because I Already Said It And That’s It”… this is a common phrase used in Portuguese and people would have got it. Trust.
10. Deception = The List - Are You Available Today?
Brazilian Title: A Lista - Você Está Livre Hoje?
Should Have Been: There is a word that exists in Portuguese for deception, it is “decepção.” Therefore it should have been Decepção… amirite??
11. Enemy At The Gates = Circle Of Fire
Brazilian Title: Círculo de Fogo
Should Have Been: Because they just weren’t feeling Enemy At The Gates, or something. Let me help: “Inimigo Nas Portas.” Done and DONE.
12. The Graduate = The First Night Of A Man
Brazilian Title: A Primeira Noite De Um Homem
Should Have Been: O Graduado which means “the graduate.” I know, shocker. But the film is about the guy graduating, so not sure how it could be any more clear.
13. The Hurricane = Hurricane: The Hurricane
Brazilian Title: Hurricane: O Furacão
Should Have Been: Did it really sound so nice that they just had to name it twice? No need to repeat it, just say it one time for the people: O Furacão.
14. Due Date = Labor Trip
Brazilian Title: Um Parto De Viagem
Should Have Been: As in a trip to labor, as in a trip to the delivery room… That even would have been better than the former. Data De Nascimento = due date/date of birth… No need to get creative.
15. Intolerable Cruelty = Love Is Expensive
Brazilian Title: O Amor Custa Caro
Should Have Been: You’d be surprised what a quick google translate could do for one’s movie title translations. I came up with Crueldade Intolerável in less than three seconds.
16. Memento = Amnesia
Brazilian Title: Amnésia
Should Have Been: The same exact word: Memento. Looks the same, sounds the same, and guess what? Means the same too. MEMENTO!
17. Not Another Teen Movie = Not Another American Slapstick
Brazilian Title: Não É Mais Um Besteirol Americano
Should Have Been: Now that’s just rude. How about keeping it literal like Não É Mais Um Filme De Adolescente, and ragging on teenagers as a whole instead of a whole country?
18. Pieces of April = The Way She Is
Brazilian Title: Do Jeito Que Ela É
Should Have Been: Was Pedaços De April or “pieces of April” just too obvious? Yeah, that makes sense. I hate it when things are too obvious.
19. The Sound Of Music = The Rebel Novice
Brazilian Title: A Noviça Rebelde
(What? Rebel, what? Novice, what? Wait… WHAT?)
Should Have Been: O Som Da Música, which translates into, yup… THE SOUND OF MUSIC. Thanks for playing Brazil, but… NOPE!