1. Approximately 5 billion* people cram themselves into The Grove around this time, which ensures that no one can actually enjoy it.
*Disclaimer: I have no idea how many people are at The Grove on a daily basis. But to say there are “too many” would be the most underwhelming understatement to ever happen.
2. And walking through this place is kind of like a Moses parting the Red Sea type situation… You’re going to need a miracle.
Shout out to the people who have made it their mission to be human blockades… But not really.
3. Basically, you’re looking at a two hour wait for any restaurant if you didn’t make a reservation beforehand.
4. So you end up constantly checking your phone, and attached to this buzzer that never seems to buzz.
If you miss the call, you’re done… your table just went to another poor family whose also been waiting for 2+ hours.
5. “Will it be quicker if I just eat at the Farmers Market?” Noooooo because the lines everywhere are insane.
And they don’t give out buzzers on this side of the world, so you’re stuck standing.
6. Oh, you’re trying to see a movie tonight? Cool, so is the rest of Los Angeles.
If you didn’t buy tickets online before coming here, it’s probably not happening.
7. And trying to actually get some holiday shopping done here? Yeah, NO!
It was all over as soon as TopShop opened its doors earlier this year.
8. This Santa house thing is great and beautiful, but the traffic jam its never-ending lines create is NOT.
9. Also, that trolly passing through every 15 min. and further obstructing the flow of human traffic is just ugh.
10. Want to head to the Farmers Market? Hope you’ve got about 40 min. to spare because that’s how long it will take to get through this.
11. There are about 498* people standing in front of the fountain watching the water show, so of course you can’t see a thing.
*Disclaimer: Number is subject to either increase or decrease on any given day.
12. Plus it outdoors, so shit gets cold ya know?
Hoodies, on hoodies, on hoodies.
14. And no way are you going to valet because it’s just too damn expensive.
15. So you’re stuck in parking lot traffic (oh yeah, those exist here) until someone decides they’ve had enough of this place.
Basically, get comfortable driving around in those one-way circles.
16. “Hey, maybe I’m outsmarting everyone by parking at the Farmer’s Market instead,” but you’re not… You’re really not.
This is a rookie mistake because everyone else is trying to do the same thing, but also the validation for FM is not as long as for The Grove.
17. So you end up having to trek all the way to the 8th floor to park on the roof, again.
Because where else are you going to park?
Once you’re up there though, it’s hard to remember what all your complaining was about.
Because there’s really nothing quite like The Grove around Christmas time.
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