Judge Joe Brown’s Dumbest Personal Injury Cases

Daytime television is destined to see its meritorious pitfalls, as it harbors some of the dumbest concepts, infomercials and public figures in the annals of history. However, Judge Joe Brown is not among these irreverent daytime annoyances; he is rather an arbiter of justice; but this does not stop him from overseeing ridiculous personal injury cases that could’ve been resolved by a mother and two siblings instead of a man with a J.D., who is a well-educated personal injury attorney. Utah readers beware — this may get ghastly.

8. “Big Woman Likes to Eat”

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This woman stole her mom’s credit card and proceeded to eat at McDonalds with it 15 times. If you’re going to steal a credit card, maybe eat somewhere classier.

7. “It’s None of Your Business”

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After Judge Joe Brown inquired about this man’s whereabouts during a night out in Vegas, Brandon Smith decided to tell Judge Joe Brown it was “none of his business.” Every Utah personal injury lawyer can only imagine what happened henceforth.

6. Thug Receives Rhetorical Beat Down

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After complaining about a broken jaw, the defendant had his jaw wired shut for four weeks of painful healing. Judge Joe Brown then made fun of the assailant for not even being able to stand up straight.

5. Joe Brown Introduces Rapper to Lyrical Law

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Judge Joe Brown disses this rapper by saying he isn’t gifted enough to make money that way, and instead must resort to the various crimes that brought him to the courtroom. Obviously, the rapper had no lyrical or legal retort.

4. Revenge of The Nerd

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The nerdy satellite technician accuses the defendant of breaking his laptop, but Judge Joe Brown sets this wayward geek straight by insisting he doesn’t know how to resolve minute issues like a normal man should.

3. Phone Bill Fight

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After refusing to pay her part of the home’s phone bill, the roommate violently uproars in the courtroom, accusing her roommate of having herpes. It was the only time any personal injury attorney saw Judge Joe Brown speechless.

2. Tenant Runs Crack House

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This doesn’t need any explanation unless someone is hailing from Utah and never encountered drugs.

1. Defendant Swears at Judge Joe Brown

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The only kind of swearing that should be done in court, is the type where you put your hand over the Bible and solemnly swear to tell the truth, not the kind that involves four letter words.

James O'Connor is a writer at Fusion 360, an advertising agency in Salt Lake City. He writes for Adams Davis PC and many other clients.