1. Step .1

   

   Find a God damn template like this fucker here.

2. Step.2

   

   Find a festive image ,something that doesn't look like total shit.I used Tia D's Turtlefeed wrapping paper because it looks fucking good , then I opened the template in an image editor and copy pasted the turtlefeed bullshit in the appropriate places.If you have no fucking idea what I am talking about , you might be too fucking stupid to make your own ornaments , try opening paint or finding an online editor and if that doesn't help you understand step #2 , then you are just to fucking dumb for this project and it's probably best to just walk the fuck away.

3. Step.3

   

   Now get a piece of paper and some colored pencils and draw a picture of whats on your screen after all the fucking editing is done.That shit better be photo-realistic too or everyone is gonna mock your ass...or you print the shit out and cut away the Grey area and make a fold everywhere you see a Yellow line because your not a fucking moron.Then fold it into a box shape using a glue stick on the tabs that say shit like glue.

4. Step.4

   

   By now your shit should look God Damn fantastical. Glue a piece of string or a fucking garbage bag twistie on it and ...

5. Step.5

   

   Voilà! You made a fucking ornament!You can hang it on your tree or carry it around as proof that your not a nutt hugging retard.

6. 

   Post a picture of your finished work of art in the comments.

Screwed or skewered? Check out pictures from movies and try to guess whether the girls are getting laid or getting dead.

1. "This product strictly for use in accordance with country or state laws. Need not be female or menstruating to use effectively. Tampon stun gun to be used for security purposes only or in self defense. It is not intended nor recommended for vaginal insertion."

   

   "2 extra absorbent cotton tampons with barbed probes and 14 ft. of wire are expelled and propelled by compressed nitrogen. Electric current then passes to the body, where the probes have attach to the clothing or bare skin, causing central nervous system disruption, possible urination and certain humiliation. "

2. 

   "You need only make contact with intended target via the 2 prods for an effective toxic shock rendering the victim disoriented, demoralized and embarrassed ."

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   more here.

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   Women are rarely grateful for Butt Bleach in their Christmas stockings.

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Look at the pictures and see if you can guess if your looking at a scene from a porno or a scene from the circus.

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   You can read more about heterochromia iridis HERE.

Forward it to :40 .I believe we have a little situation on our hands.From Evil Beet Gossip

1. The Teens

   

2. Demi Lovato

   

   The latest rumors about Demi Lovato are that she had to abort her and Wilmer's coke baby and turned to drugs and alcohol as a way of coping with her loss.

3. Mandy Moore

   

   He said on the Howard Stearn show that he took her virginity and she "wasn't like warm apple pie"

4. Linsey Lohan

   

   They started dating when she was like 16.Have they had too many or not enough Redbulls in this picture?

5. Ashlee Simpson

   

   Her and Linds were BFF's before Ashlee stole her man and wrote that song about how "I didn't steal your boyfriend"

6. 

   Rough night there Wills?

7. Ali then steals him back for team Lohan

   

   Just Kidding.

8. Wilmer says he's hung at over 8 inches.

   

   Look you can see his teen punishment nub.

9. The Eating Disorders

   

   In no order ...here are some of the eating disorders he's nailed.

10. Misha Bartone

    

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12. An Olson Twin

    

13. Boobs McGee

    

    He rated Jennifer Love Hewitt an 8 out of 10 in the sack

14. Tera Reed

    

15. Avril Lavigne

    

16. Everything else

    

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Willow Smith’s Whip My Hair song and the Exorcist mashup.