15 Things Smug Marrieds Love To Do

Not all marrieds are smug marrieds, but if you're a Singleton, it's important to not let your guard down. A smug married attack can occur at any given time of any day. These fifteen simple guidelines will assist you in identifying the smug marrieds from the normal ones.

15. Tell their single friends to stop looking, because the right man/woman will come into your life when you least expect.

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Then, in the same breath remind you that you’re not getting any younger and should put yourself out there, because “Tock tock…tick tock

14. Tell everybody on Facebook how much they love their spouse

Via Facebook: LoveMyHusbandPage

13. Dress up in Cheesy Couple Costumes for Halloween

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Smug marrieds love Halloween because it gives them a chance to dress in cutesy costumes so that everyone at the party knows that they are not only a couple, but are also an extremely clever couple for thinking up their Peanut Butter & Jelly disguise.

12. Brunch

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Smug marrieds greatly enjoy Sunday brunch because it gives them the opportunity to Instagram pictures of themselves eating brunch together while in a room surrounded by fellow smug marrieds.

11. Ask their single friends to tell them all about the exceptionally bad dates they’ve been on so they can laugh at them and call their traumatic dating experiences “Hilarious”.

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10. Watch Leaves Change Colors

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Scientists are still not sure what attracts so many smug marrieds to places like Vermont to watch the leaves change color, but for some reason they tend to migrate there by the hundreds every Fall. If you are single, it is greatly advised that you stay away from the entire states of Vermont and Connecticut until leaf-changing season has passed.

9. Ask their single friends why they’re not married yet while looking at them with pity.

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8. Set up their single friends with all the men or women they would’ve never even considered dating themselves when they were single.

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7. Monogram their initials on everything they possibly can.

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Stationary. Pillow cases. Their front door mat. Nothing is safe. It all must be branded.

6. Facebook articles about how married people live longer than single people and also are genuinely all around happier.

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5. Throw dinner parties and invite only other smug marrieds.

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This gives the smug married the opportunity to use the good China they got for their wedding. Using the good China gives them an opportunity to bring up and talk about their wedding. Talking about their wedding is the smug married's ultimate goal at any given time.

4. Get crazy every now and then and do something like go to an ugly sweater party.

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The smug marrieds love theme parties, because it gives them an opportunity to once again dress alike.

3. Go to Home Depot and Bed Bath & Beyond on Saturdays.

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This gives them the opportunity to find new things that they can monogram

2. Completely lose their own identity and start referring to themselves as "We"

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“We don’t like that television show.” “We simply adore that.” “We just can't figure out why someone with your great personality just can't find anyone to love her?"

1. Drive their single friends to drink.

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Smug marrieds are usually under the impression that their single friends drink heavily around them, because they’re simply wild & single. That's not the reason though...