Oh, Lance. You *wish* your life were that exciting.

It's an old trick, and I've seen it maybe a dozen times. They slam their hands into the ceiling; sometimes it's pretty convincing. I think they do it so you'll feel bad and be more likely to give them a buck or two.

I would pay good money to take that ride.

“For those unfortunate beings not painlessly obliterated by the impact concussions, the initial night of celebration would linger on and on with days of darkness. A chill would fall, the waters would turn to ice and the vegetation would wilt into death or dormancy, depending on species. Provided that radioactivity was insignificant and the air remained modestly breathable (a very generous assumption) the doomed ewoks might survive for days or weeks huddling around bonfires, until they starved.” http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html

This is the most vile Obama conspiracy ever. It's not enough that he's a Kenyan communist: Now he has to enlist the nation's young boys into gay interracial makeout sessions. WAKE UP PEOPLE

We need a “sad” button. This woman needs help.

Thank God. Finally an organization that can attest to whether the carpet matches the curtains. I look forward to a future of dating only IAB-certified blondes.