1. You wouldn’t need a woman to keep you warm at night; you have a glorious bushy mustache.
2. Your word is law.
Literally, you are the definition of law enforcement. With extra force.
3. Something has a lock on it? Who cares, you have an axe.
There are no doors, only possibilities.
4. Gun control laws are IRRELEVENT.
5. You can do whatever you want, you are a cop with an axe.
Break into a candy store and eat all the candy, who is going to stop you?
6. You don’t go to the butcher. You are the butcher.
7. You don’t need a partner or sidekick.
You have an axe, she is beautiful and fulfills your every need.
8. Why would you pay a barber to cut your hair? You have an axe.
The ingenious nature of an axe cop is not to be underestimated.
9. Thanks to your reflective aviator sunglasses, you can stare at whoever you want and they won’t notice.
Note: This power is only to be used for good.
10. You don’t buy furniture. You build it with your bare hands.
Whether the furniture is made of wood or enemy bones is completely up to each individual axe cop.